Anniversary of death (1 year) - mourning date. On this day, relatives and friends of the deceased person gather to commemorate him. By tradition, those gathered remember the good deeds that the deceased person managed to do during his lifetime, share their memories with each other, express condolences to close relatives.
How to prepare
It is customary to arrange a wake for a person. The mourning event is reported only to those people whom the relatives of the deceased wish to see for memorial table. Before holding a commemoration, the relatives of the deceased person must:
- Notify loved ones in advance of the approaching date of mourning.
- Choose an institution (cafe or canteen) for a commemoration or organize a commemoration table at home.
- On the eve of the commemoration, call the invitees again and find out who is going to come.
Portion dishes are recommended to be made a little more than the declared number of guests. This is necessary if an uninvited person comes to the commemoration distant relative or a colleague of the deceased. You should not pay much attention to the design of the room where it will be held. memorial meal. It is enough to put in a conspicuous place a photograph of the person being commemorated, tied with a black mourning ribbon.
Wake 1 year - important date but don't invite too many people. It is preferable if among those invited there will be close relatives and those people whom the deceased person loved during his lifetime. But you should not refuse those who themselves expressed a desire to attend the event (the exception is cases when a person came to the commemoration who clearly wants to spoil the mourning event).
Many are interested in the question of whether it is possible to arrange a commemoration before the actual onset of the anniversary. The Church gives permission for this. For example, if the anniversary of death falls on a working day of the week, then it is better to hold a commemoration the day before on a day off. Not all relatives know whether it is possible to arrange a memorial dinner during fasting. This is permissible on the condition that only lean food will be present on the table.
If this option does not suit you, then it is better to organize a commemoration earlier - before the start of the post.
Visit to church and cemetery
The Christian duty of the living is to pray for the souls of deceased relatives. Only through sincere prayers can a remembered person be forgiven in heaven. That is why, for a year from the date of death of a person, relatives must visit the church, light candles for the repose of the soul and order a special prayer - a memorial service. A liturgy is served in the temple, before which relatives submit a note with the name of the deceased person. You must visit the church in the morning. If a person visits the temple for the first time, he needs to ask the rector about how to properly order a prayer service and put candles.
After going to the temple, relatives are advised to visit the grave of the person being commemorated, especially if it is summer outside. If a priest is invited to the grave, then he can read the akathist and make a lithium. The ceremony performed is also part of the commemoration, for which a person is forgiven sins. Relatives should utter kind words, mentally ask for forgiveness from the deceased. It is recommended to bring fresh flowers to the cemetery. The clergy strictly forbid bringing food, alcoholic beverages and cigarettes to the grave. It is better to bring candles and lamps to the burial place. Eating and drinking at the grave is a pagan rite. This contributes to the cultivation of all kinds of garbage in the cemetery.
According to Christian traditions, the graves of the dead must be kept clean.
In order to as much as possible more people they commemorated a person, saying kind words, a year after death, it is recommended to distribute alms. This rite allows living people to do a good deed, the result of which is an improvement afterlife deceased. Alms are usually distributed to those who need it - poor people. Relatives can treat colleagues, friends with something delicious or take a small funeral ration to a nursing home or Orphanage. A year later, you can already give the personal belongings of the deceased to those in need.
memorial dinner
Serve a table for memorial dinner should be modest. It is necessary to prepare the first course, the second, appetizers, kutya. It is better to consecrate Kolivo in a church or sprinkle it yourself with holy water - these are the rules. It is recommended to exclude alcoholic beverages. In exceptional cases, you can put vodka, cognac or Cahors on the table. Sparkling wines will be inappropriate. If the day of the commemoration falls on fasting, then the table should mainly be meatless dishes. As a dessert, any pastry is suitable.
Many are interested in the question of whether it is possible to make a toast. During dinner, it is appropriate for the assembled to say kind words about the deceased person. Poems, kind words in prose - this is what they say at the wake. Let's share our memories. You should not turn the annual memorial dinner into a holiday where people gossip, have fun, utter words that denigrate the memory of a deceased person.
One year from the moment a person's funeral took place is a very important mourning date. Prepare for the funeral dinner should be in advance. However, it must be remembered that the main purpose of lunch and visiting the cemetery is to commemorate the deceased person, to pray for his soul. It's not worth it just to please the people around you. If for some reason it is not possible to arrange a wake, visit the temple and the cemetery, then you can simply mentally remember the person and pray for him.
Wake is an action that is performed to honor the memory of a deceased person. The core of the commemoration is a common meal, which is arranged by relatives in the house of the deceased, in a cemetery or elsewhere.
Wakes are held several times:
- on the day of death of a relative or the next day;
- on the third day after death - the soul of the deceased leaves this world and ascends to heaven (as a rule, this day coincides with the day of the funeral);
- on the ninth day;
- on the fortieth day;
- further funeral meals are made six months from the date of death, and then all subsequent anniversaries.
As a rule, family members of the deceased and his friends take part in the commemoration. At the wake of the ninth day, for example, you can come without an invitation. You can not drive away those who wanted to take part in this ritual. But it is important to remember that the commemoration is not organized for the sake of those invited, and the laid table is not their main component. People come to them not to take off negative emotions, stress, and even more so not for the sake of chatting on abstract topics. The main thing at the wake is a prayer for the deceased. It is very good, before starting a meal, to read the 17th Kathisma from the Psalter. And before eating, everyone should read the prayer "Our Father."
Postponement of the date of commemoration
It often happens that the days of commemoration fall either on a weekday, when it is impossible to be absent from work in order to prepare everything for them, or on some religious holiday. In this regard, the question arises as to whether it is possible to postpone the date of the obligatory commemoration, to make them either earlier or later than the deadline.
The clergy believe that it is not necessary to have a memorial meal on the anniversary of death. If there are objective reasons that prevent this from being done, then you need to focus on them first of all.
It is undesirable to commemorate the dead during the week Happy Easter and also during the Passion Week of Great Lent. At this time, all thoughts should be directed: holy week- to the sacrifice of Jesus Christ, on Easter week - to the joy of the news of his resurrection. So, if the date of the commemoration fell on these periods, it would be most correct to transfer them to Radonitsa - the day of commemoration of the dead.
If the commemoration date falls on Christmas Eve, it would be better to move it to January 8th. This is even considered a good sign, since the commemoration is essentially dedicated to the fact of birth already in eternal life.
The clergy also advise not to forget the fact that prayer for them is primarily important for our deceased relatives. Therefore, it is recommended to order the Liturgy for the repose of the Soul of the deceased and the Panikhida on the Day of his remembrance in the temple the day before the commemoration. It is advisable to pray for the deceased. And the commemoration itself can be moved to the next day off after the anniversary of death. But to transfer the date of the commemoration to the fortieth day for more early term in Orthodoxy is not recommended.
Memorial Day
AT various religions exist certain days when you can commemorate your dead. If for some reason it was not possible to commemorate your loved ones at the right time, you can always do this on the day of commemoration, the date of which is different religions its:
- In Orthodoxy, as mentioned above, this is Radonitsa - Tuesday of the second week after Easter. It should be noted that this is not the only day of commemoration in Orthodoxy. In addition to Radonitsa, there are five more similar dates.
- In Catholicism, All Souls' Day falls on November 2nd. Wake on the third, seventh and thirtieth days after death are considered optional.
- In Islam, it does not matter on what day, you need to remember the deceased. The main thing is to remember him with prayer and together with his family to do good deeds on his behalf - to distribute alms, to take care of orphans. But the main thing is to remain secret on whose behalf these actions are performed.
- In Buddhism, the festival of Ulamban is celebrated, which takes place in the seventh month from the first to the fifteenth day of Lunar calendar. Dedicated to the memory of the dead.
Almost everyone knows that they need to commemorate their dead, but often people forget how and why this is done. There is a connection between the dead and those who remained on earth. Therefore, people whose relative has died for a long time are in a state of sadness, anxiety, they have dreams about the dead, in which most often they ask for food or do something for them.
As a rule, after such dreams, there is a need to commemorate them, the need to visit the temple, the need to do some good deeds (for example, give alms). All this has a beneficial effect on the souls of the departed. The impossibility of holding a funeral ceremony on the same day is not a problem, since you can always leave a note in the temple and the clergyman will conduct it for you.
Our spiritual state affects the state of the dead in the other world, and in order to help them, we must begin to change ourselves and our surroundings. Can get rid of bad habit, forgive those for whom resentment has been accumulating inside for a very long time, start reading the Bible.
When conducting a commemoration ritual, it is always necessary to keep in mind its goal - by making a joint prayer, asking the Lord to grant the deceased the Kingdom of Heaven and repose his Soul.
In our country, it is customary to honor significant dates: for living people, these are name days and birthdays, and after death - commemoration. This date is extremely important for Orthodox Christians, because they sincerely believe in eternal life and meeting with the Creator. Therefore, the soul has no end for believers. How should one commemorate a person who left this world on an anniversary, let's talk in more detail.
Orthodox traditions
The ancient Slavs also commemorated the dead. This action is performed at the time of burial, and then on the 9th and 40th day. For a year after death, it is also customary to organize an appropriate meal. How should a dead Christian be remembered? The main “attribute” is, of course, prayer. It is recommended to refrain from using alcoholic beverages. An event such as a commemoration should never turn into a noisy feast, as this does not correspond to Orthodox traditions.
What is ordered in the church on the anniversary of death
In addition to a private prayer service, for one year after death in the Temple of the Lord they order:
At any church ceremony, all friends and relatives of the deceased should pray. Because the priest does not have the opportunity to put into prayer those experiences that are on this moment loved ones feel. The priest is only the executor of the service. Of course, his words are strong, but everything cannot be entrusted to someone else, because in this case the posthumous fate of a person who was very dear during his lifetime is meant.
In addition, a psalter is often ordered in the church for 1 year. It is done for a long time. It all depends on the donation.
In the shops at the church you can also buy small books: people who need to be remembered fit into them. You can take this little thing with you to the temple so as not to miss anything when providing notes. While reading a note by a priest or deacon, you need to pray yourself.
There are both generally accepted church holidays on which cemeteries should be visited, as well as ordinary private commemorations. As for the generally accepted events, then they should include "parent's day". At this time, the dead should also be commemorated, regardless of the date of their death.
Second Tuesday of Easter transition day. In many regions of the Russian Federation, there is a tradition to go to the cemetery directly to Christ's Resurrection, however, this is not officially approved - Easter is considered such a bright and clean day that there are no dead at this time.
Even if this is not a memorable date from the moment of death, but the joyful “Christ is Risen” must be heard by any deceased. This day even has the right name.- Radonitsa. For each person there is hope for eternal life with the Lord, therefore absolutely everyone should rejoice on this day - both on earth and in heaven. On the graves on this day, it is customary to bring painted chicken eggs and delicious pancakes, and the rest of the food should be distributed to the poor.
A worthy rest is a kind of crown of all existence. true christian. In prayers for every day there are petitions that the Almighty ensure a shameful death. People of the Orthodox faith want to take communion and confess before meeting God. There are special rites performed on the perishing, which are not repeated after his death.
To commemorate the anniversary of death, commemoration must begin in the church. Then you should go to the cemetery to the grave and perform a civil memorial service over it. Only after that you should turn to the meal, clean up the grave and remember the deeds of the deceased person. Pouring vodka and drinking it is not accepted.
It's better to bring fresh flowers to the grave. At one time, the church planned to limit the decoration of coffins with artificial wreaths, but it turned out to be not so easy to cope with this tradition. This custom is aimed at avoiding vandalism, which is often found in the cemeteries of our state.
But from the use of alcoholic beverages it is recommended to abstain completely. The pain and sadness of loss is enormous, but other solutions to this problem should be found. After all, such behavior will not please the deceased at all. It is better not to spend money on alcohol, but to give it to the needy poor.
What to do on the anniversary of death at home
It also happens that there is no way to go to the cemetery different reasons. In this case, you need to invite to your home all the people who wish to participate in this event. The customs associated with curtaining mirrors and setting up instruments for the deceased have nothing to do with Orthodoxy.
Before the meal, you need to pray. One of the close friends or relatives of the deceased needs to read the 17th kathisma or one of the ranks of the memorial service. At the same time, consecrated candles should be lit. After this, the meal itself begins, during which only decent conversations should be conducted, laughter and jokes are completely inappropriate.
The meals of the pagan peoples for the dead were carried out extremely pompously. Then they thought that the more magnificent and brighter the funeral feast was organized, the more useful it would be for the deceased person in another world. Meals were characterized not only by the abundant consumption of a variety of dishes, but also by songs and dances. The essence of Christian commemorations and burials is completely different. These ceremonies should keep the memory of the deceased, who is considered to have passed into another world, and not even dead.
Guests are served special meals. Without fail, kutya is put on the table, which is a sweet wheat porridge seasoned with honey, dried fruits and raisins.
- A traditional meal for a wake is pancakes filled with jelly.
- The table should be served in the usual way. You can put fresh spruce branches on it, and trim the edges of the tablecloth with black lace.
- With each change of treats, it is necessary to read a prayer. You need to pray after the end of each meal.
After reading the prayers, you can read verses on the anniversary of death. There are no restrictions in this regard. At the same time, some merits of the deceased, his positive character traits, etc. may be mentioned. It is clear that any person has shortcomings, but it is not customary to talk about them at the commemoration.
Anniversary of death noted in other countries. China, Korea and Japan have their own traditions. They also fast and avoid wine and meat for a while.
How to honor the deceased
To honor the memory the deceased often used the Psalter. Between individual psalms, special prayers are read in which the deceased are mentioned. You can also read akathists, but the Psalms were created much earlier.
It also happens that the charter of the Church forbids honoring the dead at the Liturgy and doing funerals and memorial services for them. This applies to the deceased who were baptized, but did not attend the temple regularly, that is, they were not churched. Only the person who participates in Communion and confession can be considered such. The rest of the people are called "visitors".
But in reality, some deviations are often made from this rule. It all depends on the bishop. One way or another, this point should be discussed with the clergy.
Definitely, the Church does not commemorate the dead who took their own lives. If the deceased died in the war, providing protection to other people, then this is not suicide. In fact, death in war is considered one of the most worthy. But death from an overdose of drugs is one of the varieties of suicide.
But the church teaches people hope for God's mercy and grace. Therefore, there is even a special akathist for suicides, which was developed back in the last century.
If a person has completed his journey on Earth, then he does not need a golden coffin, or a grandiose funeral, or a monument of marble or bronze. The most main help, which relatives and relatives can provide - sincere prayer and kind words on the anniversary of death. This is not an ordinary tradition, it is a lifeline leading the deceased to the Kingdom of God.
Since ancient times, Russia has preserved the tradition of celebrating memorable dates, and people honor not only the birthdays of living people, but also the days of departure from the other world. This is due to the fact that Christians believe in a further afterlife with God. A lot of citizens do not know how to properly do a commemoration for 1 year. The rules are quite simple, they help the deceased find peace in the next world.
Commemoration is the oldest rite, which was carried out back in Ancient Russia. The main task of this ritual is to honor the memory of the deceased and facilitate his stay in heaven.. The basis of the commemoration is a meal, which the relatives of the deceased spend in his apartment, cafe or directly at the cemetery. When the anniversary of death is commemorated, and how to fulfill it worthily, you can find out in the temple.
Commemorations are celebrated on such days:
- on the day of death or the next day;
- 3 days after death. Most often this day is the day of the funeral;
- on the 9th day;
- on day 40;
- in the future, the meal is carried out on the sixth month from the date of death, and all subsequent anniversaries.
The most important is the mention on the 3rd, 9th and 40th day after repose. In Christianity, they are of the opinion that the first 2 days after leaving for another world, the human soul is still on earth and bypasses all its native places. On the third day, the soul goes to bow to God.
Informative! Why is it needed on the wrist: meaning in Christianity.
For the next 7 days, the angels will show the soul life in heaven and the beauty of paradise. On the 9th day, the soul is again sent to worship God, after which it is led to the kingdom of darkness - hell for 30 days.
During the month, the soul of the deceased is shown the eternal torment of sinners. In conclusion, on the 40th day, the soul is again raised to bow to God, where a decision is made in which particular place the soul will be until the Last Judgment.
In addition, you can commemorate a deceased relative on such days:
- second Tuesday after Easter. On the holiday itself, it is not worth commemorating the dead, since Easter is a holiday of living people;
- next Saturday before Lent;
- 2, 3, 4 Saturdays of Great Lent.
Because a baptized deceased person is a member Orthodox Church, you can order a memorial service and magpie on it almost at any time.
It's important to know! If the anniversary coincides with the day of an important church holiday, it is recommended to move it to the next day.
Commemoration in the church
The most important thing for the commemoration of the deceased is not a meal, but a prayer. If the deceased was a Christian, for him there is nothing more valuable than prayer on the anniversary of death. In addition, the clergy advise relatives on the anniversary of death to refrain from a sumptuous dinner and alcohol.
Lunch should be fairly simple and modest. A commemoration for 1 year and all subsequent times should categorically not turn into a fun feast, since such a pastime is not welcomed by Christian traditions.
In addition to personal prayer, it is imperative to order a commemoration in the church for a year:
- commemoration at the proskomedia. This rite is the first part of the liturgy, during which the priest takes out small pieces from the prosphora for repose and health.
- most often ordered "sorokoust", then the deceased will be commemorated at 40 services in a row;
- memorial service. It is usually held in temples on Saturdays or Sundays, but if necessary, you can arrange with the priest to hold it on another day;
- lithium. Another common type of funeral service. It is carried out at any time. It is also possible to visit the priest at the cemetery.
The most important condition is that the deceased and all his relatives should be remembered. The priest does not always know the deceased personally, therefore he cannot express the emotions experienced by friends and relatives.
The priest, in fact, is only the performer of the rite. The rules of conduct allow for the order of reading the Psalter. Such a service is often held in monasteries, since it is designed for long time. Depending on the size of the donation, the service will be held for a month, half a year or even a year.
It's important to know! When ordering a service in a temple, you can enter in a note not only the name of the deceased, but also other deceased relatives.
Basic Rules
The rules for holding a commemoration in 1 year are such that you must first start the event with a visit to the church. Only after the relatives order a special service, you can go to the cemetery and perform a civil memorial service.
After that, relatives must definitely clean up the grave, mention how good the person was, what good deeds he did. Also, bring fresh flowers. It is very important to remember that it is allowed to go to the cemetery only in the first half of the day.
After completing these steps, you can start eating. It is permissible to conduct it not only in the house of the deceased, but also in a cafe. Priests do not advise to arrange a chic dinner, the dishes should be quite simple. As for alcohol, only red wine is allowed to drink, vodka cannot be put on the table.
memorial dinner
How to commemorate the deceased on the anniversary of death, only relatives should decide. But the clergy advise to pay attention to oldest traditions. Often relatives ask the question not only how to commemorate, but also with what. Meals for lunch should be modest. Be sure to cook not only the first and second, but also kutya ( wheat porridge with raisins, candied fruits and honey). It is recommended to make snacks on this day (especially if it was decided to put wine on the table). From alcoholic drinks it is allowed to use cognac and Cahors. Sparkling wines are not suitable for this occasion.
Often, parishioners ask the priests what they order in the church on the anniversary of death, if it falls on a post. In this case, there should be mainly lean dishes and a lot of pastries on the table.
In the event that the memorial takes place in a cafe, you need to ask the employees to turn off the music and the TV. Entertainment is not allowed in the adjacent hall. It is not worth pronouncing toasts, as this is inappropriate.
It would be better to just say kind words about a person, remember his good deeds, or read poems on the anniversary of death. You can also share warm memories with relatives.
Reference! What is forbidden to do on the anniversary of death is to speak words that denigrate the deceased.
Remember at home
If relatives do not have the opportunity to go to the cemetery, how the deceased is commemorated and what to do in this case. In such a situation, you need to invite everyone home and prepare a special dinner. Many people mistakenly believe that in 1 year the rules involve curtaining mirrors in the apartment and placing an appliance on the table for the deceased. The clergy claim that these traditions exist, but they do not belong to the Orthodox, so it is not necessary to adhere to them.
Every person who comes to the house, before sitting down at the table, must definitely pray. It is desirable that at this time the apartment burned church candles. After reading the prayer, you can start the meal. Relatives are allowed to talk at the table. The main thing is that there should be no gossip, jokes and foul language, as this is inappropriate.
According to Christian traditions, the dishes that are served at the table must be consecrated. In addition to the first and second lunch, it also involves the presence of a dessert. Sweets must be present on the table, as they symbolize the joy that awaits all righteous Christians in heaven.
When preparing the table, you can consider the following tips:
- One of traditional dishes pancakes are considered at the wake. Usually they are washed down with fresh jelly or well-fed (honey dissolved in water).
- It is recommended to place several spruce branches on the table, and black ribbons can be attached to the tablecloth.
- During the change of dishes, it is necessary to read a prayer for the repose. Also, prayers on the anniversary of death 1 year (and all subsequent ones) are read after the meal.
- When leaving, the owners do not need to say words of gratitude. This is not accepted at the funeral.
Independent commemoration
If a person does not have the opportunity to go to a wake, you can remember the deceased at home. There is no need for lunch for this. As you know, celebrating the anniversary of death involves reading a prayer.
This option will be the best. Most clergy advise reading the Psalter. How to do it correctly is usually described in detail in the appendix to the book. Between the psalms, it is imperative to read special prayers, and mention the names of deceased relatives in them. This variant of remembrance is the best.
There are some exceptions in which the church does not allow to commemorate the dead during the Liturgy. This applies to people who have been baptized but have never gone to the temple. It is believed that this indicates that a person during his lifetime was an unbeliever. The clergy call such people zakhozhan.
Also, the church never commemorates those who committed suicide, since this is a voluntary rejection of the main God's gift- life. This rule also applies to those people who died from an overdose of drugs, since such a death is also considered a suicide.
Useful video
Summing up
Today, more and more people prefer to order a service in the church and believe that this is enough. Despite the fact that the clergy can also turn to the Almighty with a request for the remission of earthly sins, relatives should also pray for the deceased.
The appeals of priests, as intermediaries and executors of God's will on earth, reach the Savior faster, but reading prayers at home is also mandatory. First of all, the soul of the deceased hears exactly the words of relatives, and not the ministers of the church, so relatives and friends must definitely pray.
The Christian Church teaches us that once created immortal man lost this greatest gift due to the original sin of Adam and Eve. Since then, he became corruptible and, having passed life path released to him by the Lord, leaves the earthly world, taking with him the burden of sins committed, but not atoned for by repentance. Therefore, our prayers and rituals are extremely important for finding eternal rest for them. About how the dead are commemorated on the anniversary of death (a year after death), and the conversation will go in this article.
Commemoration of the deceased, preceding the anniversary of death
After the heart of a person has stopped beating and he has appeared before the gates of eternity, the Orthodox Church prescribes his threefold commemoration. It is performed on the third, ninth and fortieth day after death. It is necessary to briefly mention them, because otherwise the story about how to commemorate the deceased on the anniversary of death will be incomplete.
The commemoration of the deceased on the third day is performed in commemoration of the three-day resurrection of our Savior Jesus Christ. It is generally accepted that the first two days after parting with the body, the soul, accompanied by angels, still wanders around the places dear to it from earthly memories. On the third day, the angels take her to heaven to worship the Almighty. Thus, the day of the first standing before the Lord is the beginning of the commemoration cycle, the completion of which will be the anniversary of death. How to commemorate according to church custom on this still distant day will be described below.
The next rite is performed on the ninth day, symbolizing the nine ranks of angels interceding before the Lord for the repose of the soul of His deceased servant. The Church teaches that after the third day the soul leaves the earthly world and is carried by angels to heavenly abodes, which it contemplates for six days.
After that, she performs a secondary worship of the Lord and plunges into hell, where she will have to stay until the fortieth day, continuously contemplating the torments endured by unrepentant sinners. And only after the bliss of the righteous and the suffering of the wicked have been revealed to the soul, it appears before the Almighty, who, by earthly affairs, determines the place of her stay until the Last Judgment.
The third, ninth, and especially the fortieth day are as important as the anniversary of death. How to remember the deceased at these stages of his stay in afterlife- the topic of a special conversation, but we will turn to the ceremony performed a year after his death.
Daily prayer commemoration of the departed
Among Orthodox people From time immemorial, it has been a pious custom to commemorate in church on the anniversary of the death of all those who have passed away, regardless of how many years have passed since that sad day. However, this does not eliminate the need to stay at home during morning and evening reading. prayer rule, and nowadays everything large quantity people observes this church prescription, along with the texts contained in them, to say several prayers for the dead. You can find them on the pages of the usual Orthodox Prayer Book.
The time that has passed since the death of a person close to us dulls the pain of the loss suffered, but, despite this, it is necessary to remember how much he needs beyond the threshold of eternity memorial prayers, especially on the day when the anniversary of death came. How to commemorate the deceased in order to help his soul be freed from the burden of sins? Many church fathers wrote about this, having gained fame with their theological works.
Preliminary cleansing of one's own soul
If you turn to their writings, then in most of them you can see how great importance the authors give spiritual and bodily purity to those who intend by their prayers to alleviate the posthumous fate of people close to him. In other words, before you start praying for the forgiveness of other people's sins, you need to repent of your own. Everyone knows that the prayer of the righteous is more often heard than the requests of the one who is mired in sin.
In addition, speaking about how to properly commemorate on the anniversary of death, the holy fathers strongly recommend starting preparations for this important matter from fasting, even if it is short. One - a maximum of two days of abstinence from fast food - meat, fish and dairy products, will help, requisitioning carnal and sometimes sinful aspirations, so inherent in human nature, to direct thoughts to the upcoming prayerful communion with God. Please note that the post this case is not mandatory requirement, but only recommended as a proven means of cleansing your own soul and body.
This will help our prayers for the forgiveness of the sins of a loved one to be heard and to find grace. The Church teaches that beyond the threshold of death it will be too late to repent of what they have done during life, and only those who remain on earth are able to beg God to alleviate the fate of the deceased.
Continuing the conversation about how to properly commemorate the dead on the anniversary of death, one cannot help but recall the custom of ordering a regular commemoration of the deceased for forty days in advance of this date in the church. This rite is called magpie and originates from the first centuries of the establishment of Christianity in Russia. In this case, it serves as preparatory stage to the main actions coming on the day of remembrance.
How to start a church commemoration?
Despite the importance of home prayers, the main importance is still attached to church service on the day of the death anniversary. How to commemorate the deceased in the temple of God, you should ask the priest in advance, who will help you perform this ceremony in full accordance with the traditions of the Orthodox Church. We will focus only on some generally accepted rules.
Usually, before the beginning of the liturgy, a note is given with the name of the deceased for his commemoration in the altar. By the way, the names of other close people who left this world at different times can be inscribed in it. All of them also need prayer support. In addition, on the day of the anniversary of death, as at any other time, it would be very appropriate to order a memorial service for the deceased.
What is a memorial service?
Since this funeral service, which has long been accepted in Russian Orthodoxy, has a special meaning, continuing the conversation about how to commemorate the deceased on the anniversary of death, it is worth dwelling on it in more detail. According to the rules set forth in the Trebnik, a liturgical book that regulates the procedure for performing the sacraments and other sacred rites, a memorial service can be held both in the church and in the house of the deceased, where a priest is invited for this purpose, as well as in a cemetery or in the place where life was cut short close person. The funeral service is very similar in structure to the funeral service. The only difference is that in this case several prayers are excluded from it.
Kolivo, prosphora and alms are integral parts of the rite
In addition, in the Ribbon, indicating how the dead are commemorated on the anniversary of death at home, in the cemetery and in the temple, it is prescribed at the end church rite put on the eve - small rectangular table with a crucifix, where funeral candles are usually lit, - a dish filled with kutya - porridge made from whole grains of wheat and sprinkled with honey. According to church tradition, it is called koliv. When leaving the church, you should take one or more prosphora with you and eat them at home on an empty stomach even before the start of the memorial meal.
Regardless of whether the memorial service was performed in the church, or the relatives of the deceased limited themselves to a modest home ritual, it is highly recommended on this day, as on any other, to distribute alms to those whom the vicissitudes of life have forced with an outstretched hand to seek their livelihood. This humanly good deed is also the fulfillment of one of the main God's commandments which prescribes love for neighbor and help to all who need it. It should be strictly observed throughout life, and not just on the day when someone's death anniversary comes.
How to remember a loved one in a cemetery?
Paying tribute to the memory close person, on the anniversary of death, it is also customary to visit his grave. It is there that we most acutely feel the irreparability of the loss suffered. It is highly desirable a few days before, having come to the cemetery, to check whether the tombstone, cross and fence are in proper order. If you need to repair or paint something, then you should do it immediately, and in any case, clean it up. In autumn - sweep away fallen leaves from the grave, in winter - remove snow, and in spring and summer it is advisable to plant live seedlings.
On the anniversary of death, you can visit the cemetery both before going to church and after it. There are no hard and fast rules in this case, and everyone can do what is more convenient for him. An exception can only be those cases when the relatives of the deceased wish a priest to serve the lithium on the grave. Usually there are churches in the territories of cemeteries where you can apply with such a request, and it is better to do this in advance, since the priest may have other requirements that day.
Ritual traditions that regulate the order of how to properly commemorate the dead on the anniversary of death allow all the proper actions to be performed without the participation of a priest. In this case, one of those present, and among them, as a rule, there are the closest relatives and friends of the deceased, he himself can read the memorial prayers. They will be especially blessed if those present will do this one by one. An integral part of visiting the grave is also the laying of natural or artificial flowers and wreaths.
Funeral meals at the grave and at home
At the end of the reading of prayers, the time comes for a short memorial meal, performed right at the grave. The tradition of the Orthodox Church prescribes to eat pancakes, jelly, as well as kutya, which was discussed above. You can also add fruits and homemade cakes to this simple menu.
Unfortunately, during the Soviet period, when the dominance of atheistic ideology tore people away from their original church customs, developed standards that are completely alien to true piety. One of them was the tradition of drinking alcohol on the grave, and often simply getting drunk. It can be stated with complete certainty that this is fundamentally contrary to church rules, and it doesn’t matter if a grave is visited on a normal day or it is the anniversary of death.
On the same day, it is customary to commemorate the deceased at a home meal, to which relatives are invited, as well as those who knew and loved him during his lifetime. Often one of the participants in the feast is a priest. Sometimes for this purpose they rent a room in a cafe or restaurant. In order for the commemoration to take place in accordance with the established tradition, a number of simple rules should be followed, as outlined below.
The beginning of the home meal, as well as the one that was made in the cemetery, should be preceded by the same memorial prayer for the deceased. If a priest is invited to the house, then he reads, if not, then one of the relatives or several people in turn. Prayer in this case is important both for the repose of the soul of the deceased, and for setting those present in a solemn mood, corresponding to this moment.
Funeral table features
It is quite natural that every housewife tries to cover the richest possible table, replete with various dishes, and thereby please the tastes of all those gathered. However, it should be taken into account that church calendar in addition to fast days, that is, those on which there are no restrictions on the list of foods to be eaten, it also provides for fasting, both one-day and multi-day.
Since the commemoration itself is part of Orthodox tradition, then the meal menu must comply with the requirements of the church for the day on which the anniversary of death fell. How to commemorate the deceased only with lenten treats is a question that each housewife decides on her own.
It is important to consider that no matter how richly the table is served, the meal should begin with the traditional eating of the same kutya. This custom has a very definite meaning. Wheat or any other grains from which it is prepared symbolize the resurrection of the soul, and honey poured from above symbolizes the pleasure that awaits the righteous in eternal life.
How to maintain the proper atmosphere at the table
one more important point associated with a home meal is right choice alcoholic beverages. If their use is inappropriate in the cemetery, as discussed above, then at the home table or in a restaurant this is permissible. However, so that the memory is not clouded dear person and his death anniversary, the day of his death should be commemorated, taking into account the advice set out below. This will help to avoid unpleasant situations that often arise as a result of excessive libations.
To be safe, it is not recommended to put strong forty-degree drinks on the table. It is better to give preference to church Cahors or some light wines. At the same time, it is necessary to ensure that even their use does not go beyond the reasonable. Otherwise, the memorial meal can easily turn into a regular banquet, during which memories of the deceased will give way to laughter and fun, inappropriate in this setting.
Scandals, abuse and showdown are extremely unacceptable at the memorial table. It is desirable that during the entire dinner only the deceased was talked about, various episodes from his life were recalled, and everything that he did good for people was also told.
You can invite guests to view photos of the deceased in the house or a video in which he is captured. Even if the deceased was not always distinguished by worthy behavior, the bad on this day should be forgotten. Instead, it is appropriate to focus on all the good that he left behind.
Two more important questions
One should not lose sight of such a very significant question: what to do if the anniversary of death coincides with any of the great church holidays? How to commemorate - before or after, if memorial prayers are not accepted on the day of the holiday itself (for example, on Easter)? In this case, the ceremony is postponed to the next weekend, or another convenient day. But even in this case, to visit the church, confess, take communion, put a candle for the repose of the soul and give alms should be on the anniversary of death.
There is another important problem that the anniversary of death (1 year) poses to the relatives of the deceased, when people who have not been baptized or those of other faiths, or even suicides, have to be commemorated. Is it possible to pray for them at all, and if this is permissible, then how to do it correctly?
The answer can be found in the Epistle of the Apostle Paul to the Colossians, where he says that for Christ “there is neither Hellene, nor Jew, nor barbarian, nor Scythian…”, but all are equal for the coming Kingdom of God. Therefore, it is possible and necessary to pray for all people, since for each deceased milestone his stay in the afterlife is the anniversary of death. Remember earlier or later - it depends on the calendar date, as discussed above.
The only thing to consider is established rule to submit memorial notes in the church only with the names of those who, during their lifetime, underwent the rite of baptism and did not burden themselves with the sin of suicide. For all others, you need to pray yourself, in church and at home, in the cemetery, as well as in the place where death cut off the days of their lives. It is necessary to ask the Lord to grant the remission of the sins they have committed and to rest the souls in the Kingdom of Heaven.
Loading...