Not responsible person what to do. How to show maturity in a relationship

Surely every person at least once in his life was told: "In this matter, you need to show responsibility." And everyone understands what is at stake at this moment and what is meant. Few understand the concept. Although its meaning, like the topic itself, is very interesting. Therefore, it is necessary to talk in more detail about what it means to be a responsible person.

Definition

This term is explained in different ways. But there are few differences in definitions. It is generally accepted that responsibility is the subjective obligation of a person to be responsible for his actions and their consequences. If we follow another statement, then this term denotes special treatment personality to their actions. And it characterizes her as a rational, conscious, intellectually developed person.

Such a Personality is responsible for choosing his actions, taking the initiative and bringing this or that matter to the end. And if we talk about what it means to be a responsible person, then we can say with confidence: it means showing oneself as an independent, diligent and reliable member of society. Often people with this quality are perceived as honest, persistent, diligent and accurate. And this is justified, as they deserve such a reputation.

How to recognize such a person?

Examples of responsible people surround us. Surely in the circle of every person there are people who deserve to be called such. And they are very easy to recognize.

They take responsibility. They don’t run away from it, they don’t pass it on to others. If such a person does something, then he approaches the task with seriousness in order to ensure a quality result.

He doesn't need excuses. He will not look for the guilty and despair in an unsuccessful situation. This person will simply start looking for ways to solve problems. He will endure almost any mistake, correct the failure and will continue to try to prevent such oversights.

A responsible person always keeps deadlines. He will never let you down. Because he knows: the value of each task depends on its timely completion. It is important for him to trust that they have for him, and the hopes that others have placed on him. Therefore, he is always punctual and completes assignments within the allotted time.

Personal characteristic

Some of the qualities of a responsible person have already been listed above. It is worth noting a few more.

So, responsible people, no matter how “hackneyed” it may sound, they are the masters of their lives. They always remain confident and cheerful. These two qualities are the basis for moving forward. And they do not wait for instructions and tests. These people immediately do quality work, often managing to help colleagues (when it comes to work).

Yet the responsible person knows how to control his feelings and manage them. Nothing can interfere with their work. And such appropriate composure is one of key qualities. If many people can meet the deadlines with due desire, then not all of them can hold back a storm of emotions.

How to learn to be responsible? You need to get used to making plans and sticking to them. A responsible person clearly knows what, how, when and for whom he must do. And to save valuable time, he calculates everything to the smallest detail.

This person also often interacts with others, helping to reveal their potential. It is subject to him to stimulate others to work. And, in the end, all this he does not for the sake of praise. It also has a place to be, of course, but the most important thing is the result and the quality of the work done.

Psychological aspect

There is much more to be said about what it means to be a responsible person. In general, a person's awareness of this quality is determined by many factors. Cognitive, characterological, situational, motivational. All this has to do with the internal control mechanism. After all, in the first place, the subject is responsible to himself for his actions.

But instances are also important. Mostly stimulating. Take, for example, the workplace. A person was given a month to complete a particular task. Of course, he will feel good if he manages it in two weeks and passes earlier. But in specific situation a more important role is played by the reaction of the authorities to such promptness. High diligence and manifestation of responsibility of the employee will show him in the best light and will allow him to earn respect, trust and authority.

Psychological factors are also important. They are about being able to make a choice. That is, consciously prefer one or another line of behavior. Often the problem of choice appears in a dispute. And a person has to choose “to be or not to be” (to defend his position and bear the responsibility for it), or “to be or seem” (which means disclaimer of responsibility).

Referring to the catchphrase

Each of us at least once heard such a phrase: "We are responsible for those we have tamed." Its author is the French essayist and writer of the 20th century Antoine de Saint-Exupery. And she meets in a fairy tale for adults called " The little Prince". Now it is most often used in relation to our smaller brothers, which can be understood - animals need the care and protection of people (often from other representatives of humanity, who are distinguished by cruelty), since they are able to provide it to them.

But Antoine de Saint-Exupery put a different meaning into the phrase “We are responsible for those we have tamed”. The writer himself, as a person, presented the most high requirements to himself. This is important to mention. And the expression means that all the people around us (relatives, friends, loved ones) are tamed by us. They trust us, love, appreciate, hope for reciprocity. And those for whom these people have such a feeling should not allow betrayal towards them. Or that they experience grief, experience, pain. The bottom line is that we are responsible for the happiness of our loved ones. Like they are for ours.

About actions

The actions of a responsible person always cause respect. And sometimes even admiration. Responsibility is manifested in the willingness to take the initiative and do what needs to be done. Let's say a husband and wife have long wanted to go abroad on vacation and have even set approximate departure dates. But the wife is suddenly overwhelmed by some additional responsibilities at work, and there is a need to stay there overtime. The husband decides to take charge of the vacation, buying airline tickets, planning a trip, booking a hotel, arranging a visa, and more. This is a commendable act.

Principle

Every responsible person also adheres to such a motto: "everything that I did, I did." Logically. The bottom line is that a responsible person is always ready to answer for his actions. Surrounding people, circumstances are just a background for her decisions. Such a person will never find "guilty" in trying to justify his failure. And, by the way, his second principle is this: "everything that I did not do is my fault, inaction is also an act."

Quality structure

It is also worth noting attention, talking about what it means to "be a responsible person." The structure of this quality includes a person's awareness of his social role and social value. As well as accepting the need to act in accordance with generally accepted requirements as a fact. The structure also includes a willingness to control and be responsible for one's actions or inaction, to take into account the consequences and foresee them in the future, to be accountable to oneself and give self-esteem.

There is much more to be said about this quality. But in the end, I would like to note that the presence of responsibility paints a person like nothing else.

9 ways to increase your own responsibility - how to become a responsible person?

A responsibility- one of the most main human qualities. People endowed with this property are more willing to be hired, it is more pleasant not only to communicate with them, but in general to have at least some contact, because an irresponsible person is an adult child, you cannot wait for help from him, he is eccentric and is not able to answer for his own problems. deeds and words.

How to become a responsible person?

Having become responsible for his life, a person gains freedom, begins to build his own happiness on his own, overcomes obstacles and achieves his goals.

  • The first rule is plan your day

Many large companies carry out time management training. It allows you to effectively distribute your time in such a way that it is enough for everything.

Americans and Germans are famous workaholics, but by Friday night everyone is on the golf courses. None of them stay up late at work and take work home. And all why? Because they have sing to do everything during working hours.

The theory of time management is suitable even for a housewife. With it, any person begins to truly value his time, learn to distribute it correctly, and not waste a single minute.

  • Train your memory

Is always pay attention to the little things for which your consciousness can cling. At first it will be difficult, but then you can easily remember what you ate last Monday and whether you really turned off the iron.

The ability to remember a large number of information is a very useful skill in life. After all good memory helps to track your mistakes in order to take them into account in the future.

  • Don't throw words to the wind

The responsible person first thinks can he complete the task? or comply the necessary conditions, and only then promises something. If you are not confident in your abilities, then you can say that you will simply try or you will not be able to guarantee 100% compliance with the conditions.

  • Write down your plans and tasks because you can't remember everything

Then you never forget about a very important meeting or about serious negotiations. By the way, organizers were invented for these purposes.

  • Practice more organizational work

It does not matter what it will be - a picnic, a holiday or a school trip to another city. Take care of everything! The more events you arrange, the easier and faster you will get it, and the easier it will become for you to manage your life.

  • Never say phrases: “If it weren’t for work/weather/friends…”, “the leadership/government/doctors/oligarchs are to blame for everything…” and so on

Man is the master of his own life! He is able, if not to change his conditions of existence, then to change them. Every morning, repeat as a mantra: “I am the master of my life. I alone am responsible for what happens to me.” Believe what is said, because it is true!

  • Find a soul mate and develop with it in unison

It's easier to change together than alone. After all, even on a diet it is easier to sit if someone supports you. Share successes, recipes for overcoming difficulties, and compete in increasing your responsibility. This is the best way to motivate both of you.

In this case, it will be possible to tell a friend that yesterday you organized an excursion for 40 five-graders to the zoo, and the interlocutor will tell that she took on a complex project at work, and has almost completed it.

  • Always - act

Even in the most difficult situation do not lose yourself and look for ways out of the crisis. And if you seem to have no problems and everything is going smoothly, then do not stop there, but think about the next goal. Go ahead and aim for it.

  • change

Do not think that with age it is impossible to change. Amazing transformations happen even at 70. People are changing their lives become really happy and free. Therefore, it is not necessary to attribute failures to fate. All or almost all problems are a consequence of our actions and mistakes that need to be analyzed and corrected.

Increasing responsibility means getting out of your comfort zones. And on this path, you will have to step over yourself more than once.

But it is absolutely necessary to overpower and take this step in order to reach the height of responsibility with increased responsibility. new level quality of life!

If you liked our article and have any thoughts about it, please share with us. It is very important for us to know your opinion!

Class hour "What does it mean to be a responsible person" in grade 8B

Class teacher Ekaterina Vladimirovna Orlova

.

Antoine de Saint-Exupery.

Target: to promote the development of a sense of responsibility in schoolchildren, to promote the formation in children of the ability to analyze their actions and character traits, to cultivate respect, tolerance for people around them, the formation of communicative competence, the development of ingenuity, logical thinking.

Tasks :

- develop the ability to compare and draw conclusions and generalizations based on different points of view;

To form the ability for collective reasoning, a culture of communication and speech;

Develop the ability to conduct a dialogue, the ability to defend their point of view.

Equipment:

    Projector

    Paper

    Pens

    Emoticons

The course of the hour of communication

I. Communication of the topic and purpose of the hour of communication.

Good afternoon, I'm glad to see you all together. Shake hands with your neighbor as it is done in the whole civilized world before serious work as a friendly gesture.

Today we will spend a class hour on a topic that was proposed at our previous meeting. As a topic, I would like to propose a statement by the French writer Antoine de Saint-Exupery.

To be human means to feel one's responsibility to people. .

How do you understand this statement? (guys saying)

II. Introduction to the topic

When you were young, your actions were largely dictated by those who cared for you. You ate when your parents gave you food, you went where you were led, i.e. you are completely dependent on your parents. Now you have matured, acquired the necessary skills, gradually becoming more independent, you have the obligation to go to school, do homework. Soon you will become adults and will be fully responsible for yourself and for others.

How you learn to make choices today will determine your ability to responsibly

approach life in the future.

I want to bring to your attention a story.

What do you think that answered the loser successful person? (children's statements)


“Clearly,” the successful person replied, “you are primarily inclined to blame circumstances for your failures, so you do not strive to improve yourself. And until you learn to take responsibility for your actions on yourself, instead of shifting it to others, you will remain a loser.

III. Main part

Your statements turned out to be almost the same as the successful person answered.

But no less difficult for a person is the ability to keep his word. No wonder in one Russian proverb: “If you don’t give a word, be strong, but if you give a word, hold on»
And how many cases when you easily promise me to do something to each other. And the day comes ... and it turns out that nothing is being done.

Now I will give you some situations.

1 Situation: On Health Day, the guys in the class agree on who will be in the team, who is responsible for filming, who is for other things. On the appointed day, out of 21 students, 16 come, what the rest are doing is unknown (and this is a school day), and even the team members had to be called by the guys by phone. Why do you think this happened? Why is the class in last place? (children's statements).

How can you call the act of the guys who let the rest down?

2 Situation: A group of students must go to a profile test at a certain time. The children were warned about the start time of the tests by the head teacher and the class teacher. Everyone calmly listened, they promised to come, but only half of the guys came at the appointed time, the rest, who remained at home, did not consider it necessary to answer the phone call to the class teacher. Why do you think?

How can you characterize such an act? (children's statements).

3 Situation: For a month, the students agreed that on a certain day they would go bowling with the whole class. The day before, 4 people warned that they would not be able to go, for a number of different serious reasons. The rest were silent. At the appointed time, it turned out that 11 people out of 21 came to the bowling alley. In your opinion, what character trait does this act indicate?

How can this action be called? (statements).

- What is responsibility? When does this feeling occur? ( A responsibility It is the duty to be responsible for one's actions, actions.)

What character traits are characteristic of a responsible person? The words are written on the board , which denote different traits of a person's character. Leave only those that are characteristic of a responsible person.

(honesty, courage, cowardice, insincerity, sociability and isolation, kindness and malevolence, attentiveness and indifference, diligence and laziness, fear of difficulties, activity.)

How fish behave in the river flow ? (floats with the flow and against the flow, i.e. actively)

What happens to a log floating on the surface? (Answers)

In what case can the same thing happen with a fish as with a log (Answers)

You can live the years of your childhood and youth actively, like a fish, or passively, like a log. Fish that live in the river are able to swim both with the flow and against it.

If she stops moving, she is swept away by the current.

But swimming in the opposite direction, the fish can overcome the force of the current and even reach the upper reaches of the river. The log, on the other hand, has no choice: in the end, it will end up where the stream takes it.

And let's ask ourselves: do we create our own future or go with the flow, like a log on a river?

Do you think you are going with the flow or creating your future, can anyone honestly and responsibly say so? (Children's statements).

IV. Summary of the lesson.

What does each of you need to become responsible person? (Learn to be responsible for your actions).

serious attitude life begins with a conscious decision to take responsibility. We make such a decision more than once, we make it many times during our lives.

The responsible person is the one who controls himself and his behavior. Therefore, each of you must learn to take responsibility for your actions, deeds, behavior. If you do not learn this, then your life will change according to the will of other people.

At the heart of each act is a responsible or irresponsible attitude to the current situation. Our well-being, relationships with others, and sometimes even human life depend on our actions.

V. Reflection

In front of you are multi-colored emoticons. Choose the emoticon that corresponds to your attitude towards our conversation if:

1. I think the topic is important to me. There is something to think about. - Green

2. I will think about it, but not today…someday…maybe… Yellow

3. Everything we talked about is just empty words. They don't matter. I just wasted my time. Red

Thank you for your work!

Everyone chooses the life for which he will then be responsible.
Be an example and be responsible for your thoughts,
words and deeds are worthy of Man.

I heard many times from others that it is necessary to be responsible in studies, work, raising children, etc. But somewhere inside I felt that there should be a different and very important for each person designation of the concept of Responsibility.

As a child, when I was undertook to do some work or I was entrusted with an important task, I had a sense of responsibility, somewhere on an intuitive level, but it immediately turned to the external, to worries about the material. Adults have always said that my actions or words determine what the result will be. After all, since I was instructed, it means that I cannot fail, and everything must be completed to the end. But after these explanations from adults, for some reason I got the feeling that I was obliged to someone, since I undertook to do something, and if the result was not what they wanted to see, then they would ask me. Against this background, a feeling of oppression and annoyance appeared, which overshadowed the most sincere motives.

The fact that the essence of the concept of responsibility is much broader than I was taught, I was convinced, having come into contact several years ago with the work of the wonderful writer A. Novykh. Indeed, in society the concept of responsibility is always imposed precisely from a materialistic point of view: the more you take on some business or duties, the more the status of "responsibility" in the eyes of others will increase. With each new book, I began to discover a lot of informative things, and it seemed very familiar, but for some reason forgotten. Such simple, but at the same time opening up new horizons of knowledge, truths did not leave me indifferent, because they resonated with my worldview. It was in these books that I discovered true value responsibility, which has remained since childhood, somewhere in the depths.

What is real responsibility

First, let's look at the classic concept of what constitutes responsibility:

Responsibility is reliability, honesty towards yourself and others; it is the awareness and willingness to admit that the results (reactions) that you receive in the course of your actions are the result of your actions (actions).

Wikipedia

Responsibility - a duty, the need to give an account of one's actions, deeds, etc. and be responsible for them possible consequences, for the result of something.

That is, for every person who lives according to Conscience, a sense of responsibility is an integral part of his life. Such a person is honest to others, and most importantly - to himself. He will never let you down and will be responsible for his actions, even if they seem unpleasant, and at the same time the consciousness begins to tell: “I am so good, I could not do that,” etc.

In my opinion, a phrase from A. Novykh’s book “AllatRa” (p. 154) would be appropriate here, fully revealing the meaning of the concept of responsibility:

"Every person is a Personality who bears, first of all, spiritual responsibility for everything that she does and chooses in her life. After all, most people understand what responsibility is. They take responsibility for solving some vital, ideological, domestic, financial and other issues.They are trying mainly not for themselves, but for their family, for the sake of the future of their children and grandchildren, for the sake of friends, people close to them, etc. So in the spiritual, as in the main business for every person, you need to take responsibility for your spiritual destiny and do everything possible and impossible in your life to merge with your Soul and gain real Freedom from the material world. good example for those around you, then positive changes in you and in society will not keep you waiting."

From this we can conclude: a person must be responsible not only in the domestic sphere or relationships with other people, but also, first of all, in spiritual work on oneself.

And for clarity, we can conditionally divide responsibility into external and internal.

How is it manifested and what is accompanied by decision-making and taking responsibility in any life situation:

External responsibility:

  • responsibility for the fulfillment of assigned tasks, cases;
  • responsibility for the family, children, before parents, etc.;
  • responsibility to comply with generally accepted laws and regulations.

Internal responsibility:

  • be honest with yourself and always monitor your condition, since the external is a reflection of our internal and always remember that my choice can cause external manifestations that will affect the lives of other people, and even the whole society as a whole;
  • readiness at every moment to be responsible for your thoughts, words, actions, deeds and their consequences;
  • responsibility before God for one's spiritual destiny, for merging with one's Soul, for one's Choice to follow the Spiritual Goal.

The understanding has come that the Real Responsibility is inside. Only I, as a Personality, is responsible for my actions, thoughts, actions. But the most important thing is for your Choice before God: to be deceived by the temptation of this material world and, thereby, prepare yourself for death and further painful fate for my Personality, or to cultivate in every moment a feeling of boundless Gratitude and Love, to unite with your Soul and become new Spiritual Being!

The Complete Guide to Responsibility: what is responsibility, what does it mean to be a responsible person, why is it important to be responsible, how to become a more responsible person? How to avoid feelings of guilt and anxiety due to excessive or hyper-responsibility? Learn the difference between responsibility and guilt. Also in this article we will tell you about what social responsibility is.

Responsibility: Complete Guide

Have you ever thought about what responsibility and irresponsibility are? What do we mean by responsibility? If you start thinking about it, pictures from your childhood will surely pop up before your eyes. Children, when deciding whether they will obey their parents or not, and especially if they want to “defy authorities” (mum and dad), may hear in response: "You must be responsible."

If you ask a child what it means to be responsible, he will answer you with something like “do everything well”, “obey mom and dad”, “do homework”. Adults use this term - "responsibility" - so that children understand and accept that they should behave well and do what their parents tell them.

Do you think responsibility is a little more than obligations? What comes to your mind when we talk about responsibility?

Test your brain's core abilities with the innovative CogniFit

What is responsibility? Definition

If we turn to the etymology of the word “responsibility”, we will see that it does not come from “obligation” at all. Russian word“responsibility” comes from “answer, decision”; in European languages ​​also - from the word "promise".

Becoming a responsible person means learning to make conscious decisions, to apply behaviors that allow you to become better or help others to become better. And most importantly a responsible person understands and accepts the consequences of their own actions and decisions.

In dictionary Spanish RAE Royal Academy of the Spanish Language responsibility is defined as “the existing ability of any active legal entity to recognize and accept the consequences of the voluntary action taken”.

This definition emphasizes the need for a person to take responsibility for the possible negative consequences of their actions.

Being responsible: what does it give us?

Responsibility is very useful, not without reason they say that “a responsible person is a free person”. A sense of responsibility can help you achieve your goals in any life sphere. Responsibility allows you to create your own value and take the reins of your life into your own hands. Responsibility helps:

  • Be more honest and decent: When we are inclined to tell the truth and keep our promises, people around us believe us, considering us honest and decent people.
  • Be more independent: Accepting the consequences of our actions will help us make better decisions.
  • Have great confidence: People trust a responsible person more. But more importantly, we begin to trust ourselves more. We feel better when we do something right. And even in the event of a mistake, we are satisfied because we know that in this or that situation we did our best.

Responsibility as a value

Responsibility is taught from childhood. Both in the family and in the school, children need to be taught values.

Of course, everyone wants their partner to be decent and responsible, children to be able to take responsibility and not get into unpleasant stories, parents and teachers to be responsible and take care of children, specialists to do their work with responsibility. Why do we think that a person should be responsible?

Because the presence of such people around gives us a feeling of confidence and security. We think: “Yes, he is responsible, he will do everything right.” A sense of security is one of the basic needs according to Maslow's pyramid.

This is one of the reasons why responsibility is valued so favorably in our society - because it gives us security, trust and a certain stability.

How to become more responsible?

There is no magic formula for becoming more responsible. However, it is possible to “train” and bring up responsibility.

If you want to achieve something, fulfill your promises and obligations, you need, first of all, a predisposition and. Since you have already read the article up to this point, you already have all this. I will give you some additional tips and tricks. So how do you develop a sense of responsibility?

  1. Set goals: It is important to understand why you are doing something. Understanding the meaning and direction of actions helps us consciously continue to fulfill our responsibilities. If you think your goal is too long-term, set small goals for yourself to achieve it. I recommend writing them down. It may sound silly, but written down goals become real. Writing down your goals can help you become more responsible!
  2. Be objective: What is up to me and what is not? Write a list of what is up to you and what you can control. Your attention must be directed to these aspects, as you cannot be held responsible for something that is beyond your control.
  3. Form good habits: If you find it difficult to "pull yourself together", try to organize your daily routine. For example, plan that every day for exactly one hour before watching a movie, you will study. This will help you, in addition, you will know for sure that the classes will take only an hour before watching, for example, your favorite series.
  4. Reward yourself: Your inner ambitions are important here. If you have achieved your goal, why not acknowledge it? This is your moment of success, praise and treat yourself!
  5. Be honest with yourself: You are mistaken? The result depended only on you, but you failed? Take responsibility, admit it. Analyze: why did something go wrong, how could you have done differently to achieve what you wanted?
  6. Share your plans: No, no, this is not about publicly sharing your plans on social networks. I mean your loved ones. Best friend, mother, brother or sister. Tell them what you have in mind and how you will do it. You will be able to receive support from the closest relatives and friends. In addition, it will already be embarrassing for you to turn off the intended path.
  7. Act: What you can take responsibility for is your actions. For example, clean your room, turn in your work on time, cook dinner, etc. This is specific behavior that you can take responsibility for, but you not you can take responsibility for the consequences. For example, no matter how well you prepare for a lesson, this does not guarantee you the highest mark from the teacher, and if you tried hard all day and prepared dinner, this does not mean that your food will definitely please your guests. It's not up to you. Therefore, just outline the action plan and tasks that you want to accomplish and have all the resources necessary for this, and act!

I don't want to deceive you. Becoming a responsible person takes time, desire and effort.

Remember that persistence is the key to success. Concentrate on your goal and you will succeed.

You can write your most important goals in capital letters, and sub-goals or mini-goals in normal letters just below. Start gradually, step by step, taking responsibility for certain actions or tasks.

Remember to be responsible for all your actions. If you don't succeed, don't punish yourself. Analyze the causes, correct the path, recognize the difficulties and start again.

Find out the risk of the presence of depression with the help of neuropsychological

Responsibility and guilt

Guilt and responsibility are not the same thing. Being responsible for something does not mean being guilty. Be honest, how many times have you had to make excuses by saying “It's not my fault!” in situations that you actually had no control over?

I will tell you a story that you may find familiar. Imagine that early in the morning at home you saw a message on your phone from your boss with the following content: “The project urgently needs to be handed over by 13:00. The client will arrive early. Everything has to be perfect. And do not try to be late, this client is very important for our company and he will not wait.”

All morning you rush to finish the project and leave the house on time, even with a margin of time so as not to be late. You take the train, but the train constantly stops between stations and is late. You start scolding yourself: “I should have left earlier.” You understand that you are already late for about five minutes. Next, you exit the platform and stumble upon some kind of rally. The street is blocked, it is simply impossible to go directly, and you are forced to change the route, as a result of which you are late for another 15 minutes, thinking: “Well, why did all this happen today?” Finally, you arrive at the office, waiting for the elevator... You are 20 minutes late. “The client has probably already left, the boss will “kill” me, you think. And then your dialogue with the boss:

  • “I told you it was important to be on time! Look at the clock! Because of you, the client left just furious! This is entirely your fault!”
  • “Do you think I did it on purpose? It's not my fault that the train was very late, and half of the district was blocked because of the demonstration.

Let's see what's going on here.

You did everything you could. They showed understanding, made an effort, were interested in a successful result. However, various external factors did not allow you to arrive on time for the meeting. Let's evaluate this story.

  • Q: What was your real responsibility? Answer: present the completed project to the client at 13:00. Did you manage? No.
  • Question: Who is responsible for the fact that the client is angry? Answer: only the client himself, since we cannot control the emotions of other people. Are you responsible for this? No.

Being responsible for something and being guilty of something are not the same thing. What does guilt mean?

  • Voluntary action: In order for someone to be guilty of something, this person must actively strive for a certain result.
  • This result is negative.. If you are guilty of something, this result carries a negative context.
  • Guilt makes us think about causal connections. Not everything in this life happens according to the “cause and effect” scheme. Many different factors can influence a particular situation, as in the example discussed above. Moreover, even if we manage to somehow influence these factors, this does not mean at all that the result will be positive. In the example above, a person could get stuck in a traffic jam or a subway strike, which would also prevent him from arriving on time for a meeting. Or a person could do some unintentional actions that could lead to a negative result (for example, accidentally erase finished project from a computer).

It is very important to understand that we often take responsibility for what we cannot control or change with any of our efforts, feeling guilty for situations beyond our control, which puts us in despair, worsens our mood and even makes us angry.

The same thing happens if we are accused of something. It seems unfair to us, because what happened was not included in our plans either. Before blaming someone, consider whether the person did it on purpose or not. Make sure first that he did everything for which he was responsible in this situation.

Why is it bad to be irresponsible?

AT social psychology there is Weiner's theory, the so-called "attribution theory". Attribution is the attribution of characteristics to oneself or another person. Attribution theory is the study of how people interpret events, their causes and motives, and how this affects their thinking and behavior. By observing the behavior of another person, we try to understand the reasons for such behavior. Attributions affect how we think and interact with others, and of course, situations where responsibility is judged.

Attributions are divided into:

  1. External attributions: when we are looking for an explanation / reason in external environment. Those. a person behaves this way because of the situation in which he finds himself. He is not responsible for this. For example, when we say " don't make me nervous“, we seem to have no control over the situation and it is inevitable. Many people use external attributions to avoid liability. Another example of such expressions: "I was not lucky". By using this phrase, we thereby want to convey the idea that despite the fact that we have all the resources and abilities to achieve the optimal result, it so happened by chance that the result turned out to be negative = we are not responsible for this.
  2. Internal attributions: when we are looking for an explanation/reason within ourselves. Those. we explain human behavior intrinsic properties, character, worldview, etc. For example, when we achieve success, we say: “It's all thanks to me”, “I did it“. But also at negative consequences for the other person, we also use internal attributions, thereby recognizing that we somehow influenced the situation: “I’m very sorry”, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to offend you”.

Obviously, the style of attribution used by a person can greatly affect his self-image and even his happiness. For example, if a person, because of modesty, is shy or does not recognize his successes, he will have lowered self-esteem and he will think that his achievements do not depend on him. Conversely, a person who constantly takes credit for themselves will come across as an arrogant narcissist.

What happens if you use internal attributions for negative outcomes and external attributions for positive outcomes? Exactly the same.

Therefore, you need to be consistent and objective. It is important to understand and take responsibility for what we do poorly, but we must also enjoy our own successes. This will give us emotional balance and a positive effect on self-esteem.

Responsibility as a social value

Speaking of social values, we mean specific specific principles established in a particular society, the correct and conflict-free observance of which contributes to well-being.

Responsibility as a social value affects relationships with others, as well as with oneself:

agreement

One aspect of responsibility as a social value is agreement. We are constantly negotiating. At home, at work, with friends, with family. To negotiate means to make promises and keep them.

It is curious, but often we fail to agree with ourselves. For example, we promise ourselves: “From Monday I go on a diet and start playing sports”, “Today I am busy, and tomorrow I will start studying”. “I will go to the gym three times a week, without skipping.” Surely you are familiar with this and also probably you promised yourself this, but you never did. Don't you think this is strange? Why does it happen that we do not even do what we promised ourselves? Are we so loyal to ourselves that we forgive ourselves for it? Imagine what would happen if:

  • “Grandma, I will come on Monday and help you.” But you don't come.
  • “Today I work, and tomorrow, son, I will help you with your lessons.” But you are not helping.
  • “I will do three classes at the gym.” But you don't show up.

Does responsibility to others seem more important to you than responsibility to yourself?

Commitments

The next aspect of responsibility as a social value is obligations. We already mentioned the topic of obligations at the beginning of the article. This is what we are taught from childhood. At every stage of life, every year, we have to learn and take on certain obligations and responsibilities to the society in which we live and develop.

Very often, such obligations are not voiced, they are accepted as if by themselves. Surely this has happened to you: if you do some housework, for example, because you decided to do it at some point, do other family members start to think that you will always do this? For example: mom always uploads washing machine, my dad does the shopping, my brother walks the dog, I set the table.”

What happens if one day mom comes home late from work? - There will be no clean linen.

What happens if a brother forgets to walk the dog? She will write in the house.

What happens if the father can't buy groceries? We will be left without food.

Of course, these examples may seem extreme, because, as a rule, such household duties alternate. But sometimes it happens, and it starts: “Mom, I don’t have a clean T-shirt”, “Dad, you didn’t buy my favorite cookie”, “Ivan, you are punished today because the dog wrote in the house!”. Think of similar situations in your life.

Strength of will

Willpower can be defined as the ability to make efforts and sacrifice something for a certain period of time in order to achieve a goal, the realization of which will bring us great pleasure.

If the goal is short-term, it is much easier to exercise willpower. Therefore, to maintain willpower, it is useful to break the main goal into several subgoals, so it will be easier to maintain willpower for a long period of time.

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