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When will the circus open and all the clowns will be in their places, and not in leadership positions?! And then I just laugh at work!
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If you want to work - go ... and work! The money won't come!
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I'm sitting here, working. It's strange - that's why a 5-kopeck coin fits into the right nostril, but not into the left?
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We have sleeping pills at work, they even add them to coffee, I checked.
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I'm sitting here, working. It's strange that's why a 5-kopeck coin fits into the right nostril, but not into the left? ...
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A person is never as close to perfection as when filling out a job application form.
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My work is killing me as a person. But I get cash for it!
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Work like a dog, the faster you run, the faster you will catch up!
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(T) Doing "the right way" doesn't mean putting in the work!
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What I love about my job is that you can always drink tea there)))
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When the boss falls ill, a healthy atmosphere reigns in the team.
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Every boss is deeply afraid that subordinates will be able to work without him ...
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The real summer will come when you earn it!…
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Every day I say that I hate my job, but unfortunately I understand that I won’t leave it anyway.
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Don't say you're working. Show what you've earned.
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(T) A truly thrifty person even puts off work for a rainy day.
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According to the President, the country lacks qualified workers. According to the workers, the country needs a qualified president.
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Work ... When it is not there - I want it to be. When it's there, you want it to be gone.
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Nothing adorns the dial like the number 6 at the end of the working day ...
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A career in a woman's life takes place if there is no place for a man!
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If you want to go from home to work in the morning and go home from work in the evening, then you have neither a normal home nor a normal job.
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The coolest job in the world is rest! It seems to work all my life!!!
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What a life! As soon as you sit down to work, someone will surely wake you up!
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It is a pity that the work is not a wolf ... so it would have let her go to the forest for a couple of weeks ...
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Good conversation shortens the working day!
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Alas, I absolutely do not have time to live, I only have time to work (((
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Work is the best cure for all ills.
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The smaller the position, the more noticeable your absence from the workplace.
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Judging by the last salary, one gets the feeling that our bosses, no, no, yes, and they will drink from a hoof!!!
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Someone else's work, for some reason always easy ...
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Crap! This work, work, work… There is no time to spend money!
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No matter how hard you work, there will always be a goat who works less and gets more.
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With such a salary, work becomes just a hobby ...
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Chief, remember! White (not tanned) color indicates employees who still want to go on vacation!
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Being a boss is easy - you give a crazy order, and the horror of its consequences makes subordinates do everything right.
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Previously, they worked tirelessly, now without raising their ass!
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Smart people are those who make money with their minds, and wise people are those for whom these smart people work.
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Big consumers of oxygen are bosses. When they are not, breathe easily!
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Our whole life is a struggle: before dinner with hunger, after dinner with sleep!
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(T) Laziness can also be useful - as a protection against overwork.
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Today the boss is not at work, I don’t even go out to smoke - I’m afraid to go home ...))))
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It's amazing how important your job is when you need to take time off from it, and how little it matters when you ask for a raise)))
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Who is looking for a job: schedule 2/5, salary 75,000-100,000, vacation 62 days... Call!!! Let's search together!
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To work like a seal - wake up the dick! And from work, like a deer - you'll catch up with dick!
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Pick a job you love and you won't have to work a day in your life. (Confucius)
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In our time, they run wild at home, go wild in the service, and again feel like people - in nature.
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And who else, waking up in the morning, thinks ... Well, today I’ll definitely come home from work and immediately go to bed!
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And somewhere the sea, beaches, macho... The sunset is intoxicatingly beautiful!
Everything is simpler with us - summer, summer cottage, shovels, rakes, vodka with beer!!!
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If you work all the time and never rest, you can become the richest man in the cemetery ...
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Never do something right the first time, otherwise no one will appreciate how difficult it was later.
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On an empty stomach, a Russian person does not want to do anything and think, but on a full stomach, he cannot.
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Go to work or sleep? Sleep or go to work? I'll go to work and sleep!!!
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Study, study and study again - because you still won’t find work!
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The best job is a highly paid hobby.
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If a brilliant idea came to the head of the boss, then someone will be doing shit all day
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Symptoms of office sickness - before lunch you fight hunger, after lunch with sleep and all the time you feel like you are not being paid extra.
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The hardest thing to get a job for women! Everyone needs 18-year-old girls with 30 years of work experience, with two degrees and adult children!
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Today I earned money, and I realized that today is Friday only when at 4 o'clock with a cry of Who is the last - that sucker the director ran away
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If you quit, what will you live on? If to work, then to live when?
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Work has three advantages: Friday, salary and vacation.
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I don’t regret, I don’t call, I don’t cry, I just don’t have time. I work, Ishachu ... :)))
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From the lips of an accountant: “What do you all understand! No orgasm compares to what you experience when the balance converges!
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Only in Russia can a person study for free, receive treatment for free and work for free.
Statuses about work and about work
| short | Monday
This can only happen with us: you are at work and you think “Where would I get money from ...”
Labor made a tired monkey out of a monkey.
The work is not a wolf, but a rabbit. It doesn’t run away into the forest, but fades away ...
Work is not money! It doesn't end!!!
Cool statuses about work
People are willing to do anything for money! Even to work...
I came to work after a vacation, I feel like children in a kindergarten - I want to cry and go home!
Work is a place where you want to eat before dinner, sleep after dinner, and all the time you are haunted by the feeling that you are not paid enough ...
Working in a big company is when you say hello to a person for three years, but you don’t know who he is.
The boss is always right, but it is human to err.
With my salary, I have to come to work, say hello and ... leave!
At work, I want only one thing - in the pillow kingdom, the blanket state ...
I moved the sofa to another wall, since there is an outlet there. Added to the resume: "interior specialist."
I love going to work! And from work too! But these 8 hours between walking are the most terrible!
The best protection- this is an attack, so instead of "Explanatory" always write "Report".
If my boss saw how I work on myself in the morning to get out of bed, he would add to my salary!
One boss went on vacation, and the whole team rested ...
The director arrived. He does not work himself and prevents others from working!
It was a good week - I only wanted to quit three times.
Soon we will have a salary again... Five minutes at the ATM... Half an hour in the store... Again we have no money!
Ah, work, work, go to Fedot, laundry to Sasha, ironing to Dasha, cooking to Romka, and I have a ticket to rest!
How hard it is for me to work when there is no director ... I don’t even go out to smoke ... I’m afraid I’ll go home :)
Nothing lifts the mood in the office in the morning like a couple of Viagra tablets thrown into a common kettle.
We always give 100% at work. 11% on Monday, 25% on Tuesday, 41% on Wednesday, 17% on Thursday and 6% on Friday!
Interestingly, is it only in Russian that the word “work” is formed from the word “slave”, and “dismissal” from the word “freedom”?
If you work like a horse, sit down, take a couple puffs on your cigarette. Nicotine will kill this beast inside you!
Requires a brigade of sleepers, not intimate, but you have to fuck! ツ
I think I'm pregnant ... I'm sick of work and drawn to the salty sea ...
If you are a talented worker, with initiative and intelligence, and there are only idiots around, then you will do the work for them and yourself.
If you do not have the strength and desire to work, then you are still young.
I want a job like Santa Claus: in 364 days!!!
NO salary in envelopes! YES to salary in suitcases!
Study, study and study again, because you still won’t find a job.
I can afford a lot ... But the salary - does not allow!
It's hard to be macho. Every day at work donkey.
Working is not a woman's business! A woman must go to work to show new dresses!
Statuses about work with meaning
Work is work, but in this life you still need to do something useful.
What you do best is your calling.
It's good to work two jobs! Lots of money! But not because they pay a lot - but because there is no time to spend.
Are you going on vacation? Are you immortal?
When I leave work, I try my best not to run :)
A successful career is when you rush to work while everyone else is heading to the barbecue.
Thursday is better than Sunday! Because on Thursday tomorrow is Friday, and on Sunday tomorrow is Monday!
They learn from their mistakes - they make a career from others.
Nothing is valued so cheaply and costs so much as our work.
Anyone who wants to see the results of his work immediately should become a shoemaker.
If you don’t know how to work with your head, work with a shovel.
He who cannot have 2/3 of the day for himself should be called a slave.
Do they also ask you at work as if they were smart, but they pay you like fools?
You'll never make money if you think they're making it.
Work ennobles a man, but idleness makes him happy.
If you postpone until the day after tomorrow what you can do today, there will be two free days.
Work hard and pay your taxes honestly. Thousands of workers in the state apparatus are counting on you.
If you want to earn money, work; if you want to get rich, invent something of your own.
Choose a job you love and you won't have to work a single day in your life.
Anyone who cannot smile should not trade. — Statuses about work
The specifics of life in a metropolis is such that some workers get tired before they reach work.
Be with who you want to be. Work where it is comfortable and interesting for you to work.
When work is pleasure, life is good! When work is a duty, life is slavery!
It's so hard to steal! It feels like I earned this money.
The boss begins to truly appreciate the employee only during his absence ...
The initial 20% of the effort produces 80% of the results, and the remaining 80% of the effort produces only 20% of the results.
I love weekends. You can quickly and without traffic jams to get to work!
Salary is a measure of the humiliation with which the state treats this profession.
Too much work is bad. And to work hard and get little is not only harmful, but also stupid.
The pen you write with in the office will never run out! You'll have it squandered before.
I still can’t figure out: do I have a job, or does my job have me? ..
Funny statuses about work
I work, I work, and I'm not afraid of work, if my right side gets tired, I'll turn to my left!
Showing up drunk at work is like playing computer game. The main thing is to get past the boss.
Bullshit in the workplace develops peripheral vision, hearing, reaction and vigilance in general
In the office, I behave like a house cat - I rustled and rustled papers, climbed into the closet with a businesslike face and go to dinner.
The first step on the way to work is done - I left my classmates!
Today I woke up abruptly due to the fact that it seemed that I was late for work. I opened my eyes and calmed down - fuuu, I'm at work!
Because of these endless holidays, my whole schedule has gone astray - I can’t fall asleep at work.
Cleaning lady Klava confidently walked towards her goal, sweeping away everything in her path.
What is this life?! Salary is paid once a month, but forced to work every day!
You can hardly go to work like a seal... And from work, like a deer - you will catch up with hell!
We are not afraid of work, we do not run away from work! There is no work - we go to bed, there is work - we also sleep!
We have a very cool printer at work, judging by the sounds, he himself grinds wood and makes paper ...
Stock! Only for those who worked well yesterday - a gift! New working day for free!
A large turnip has grown - very large, but does not want to work.
To work as if it were a holiday… jingling merrily with shackles.
At the next attempt to work, I again came across the Internet.
The lazier a person is, the more his work is like a feat.
Statuses about favorite work
A decent salary is when you already need to receive the next one, but you haven’t spent the previous one yet.
Favorite work is when you go there with joy, like to a refrigerator.
In order for you to be drawn to work at home, and to be drawn home at work, you need a secretary to give you at work, and at home there was always a package of cold beer in the refrigerator.
Happiness is when you go to work with joy in the morning and return home with joy in the evening.
I worked hard today, and I realized that today is Friday only when the director ran away at 4 o’clock, shouting “Who is the last - that sucker!”
Cool work is when you are half an hour late, you meet your boss, and he tells you: well done, today you are the first to come!
Statuses about a new job
I wrote my resume... I printed it out... I re-read it... I burst into tears... It's a pity to send such a person to work!
I'm afraid to go to the interview. And suddenly they will take it, they will have to work.
I got a job recently ... Work - DAYS in three, the team - BITCHES in two ...
It is better to work 31 days than to look for a job for 1 day.
With confident steps, with fresh thoughts in new life…
On the new job like on vacation
The new work is not a wolf, but a holy grail!
Short statuses about work
Today I realized that I work as a musketeer - one for all!
Pull every nail from work, you are the owner here, not a guest!
When you know the "why", you will overcome any "how"
The first five days after the weekend are the hardest.
What are you doing at work? - I want to go home!
Subordinates love me… well, how they love me… they have no choice…
We know our worth well. It is always higher than our salary.
We shared the vaseline ... There are many of us, but there is only one boss ...
Smoke breaks, tea parties and gossip can cut the working day in half.
Patience and hard work do not suit me.
I am looking for a salaryman. Employers, please do not disturb!
Work is not a wolf. And here is the boss...
Uzbeks after sex turn away to the wall and plaster
Work is not sex - you should not like it.
You see interesting dreams at an interesting job :)
It is terrible that eternity consists of accounting periods.
It is better to work for yourself than to work for conscience.
It's good to do nothing, and then relax some more.
If you don’t feel like working for the third day, then today is Wednesday.
If the boss is wrong, then either he is not the boss, or you are not an employee.
Work has three advantages: Friday, salary and vacation.
You can’t earn all the money, but to swell ... ツ
In terms of work efficiency, today I am somewhere at the level of a radish.
Not income paints a person, but the ability to hide them.
I study and work. I combine the unpleasant with the useless.
Life is sad, but the salary is ridiculous.
An expert is a person who has stopped thinking because he already knows.
The most enjoyable part of the job is getting home.
The vacation was a success if you forgot the password to your work PC.
Those who get up early have not yet been laid off ...
I'm not afraid of work ... if something, I'll immediately get away!
How we are paid is TIN! How we work is REVENGE…
The most responsible days at work are salary and advance payment.
The watchman at the Adrenaline Rush plant works week after day.
Yesterday I was looking for justice. Today I am looking for a new job...
It is especially difficult to find a job when you don't want to work.
Work is not a wolf. Or rather, a goat!
Remember! The superstitious are left without the thirteenth salary!
Statuses about Monday and work
Monday - we leave the weekend, Tuesday - we are preparing for work, Wednesday - we work, Thursday - we have a rest from work, Friday - we are preparing for the weekend. Conclusion: maybe stop working on Wednesdays already???
It's not Monday that's a bad day, it's that you don't have a very good job.
The eye just stopped twitching, and tomorrow is Monday again.
Our man has two problems: finish before Friday and not die until Monday.
On Monday it is better to come to work on Tuesday, and even better on Wednesday ...
Old age is when you wash your hair not on Friday before a party, but on Monday before work ...)
Monday is when in the morning you trudge to work and sincerely envy the bum sweetly sleeping on the bench.
If you are saddened by the onset of Monday, work seven days a week :)
The shortest working day on Monday, I didn’t have time to wake up completely, and it’s already time to go home.
When you work on Monday off your shift, you want to kill
Alcohol on Monday morning is not only not harmful, but even useful.
Popular statuses:
How to be successful at work?
If before work you still look at women, and after work - no longer, then the work completely satisfies you.
When the working day comes, PANTS, COATS, BOOTS Wander along the sidewalks of cities... And people... SLEEPING INSIDE...
The working day was in full swing, I crawled back to the Iceberg shopping center for clothes and, already returning back with a full package of all nonsense, I stumbled upon the boss. Well, he didn’t come from the bank either !!
Great! You can pay for electricity online. For an apartment - also online. For the Internet and telephone, too, on-line. Salary also comes online. The beauty!!! Another would be to go to work online. Voshche beauty would be!!!
The opportunity is missed by most people because she is dressed in a jumpsuit and looks like work.
Leave me work, I’m sad, we haven’t received for a long time for our work ... the salary and advance payment, they forgot a long time ago, or maybe somewhere out there they “scored” us
I'm tired and want to pens, although what kind of pens do I want to go to the Maldives.
Pick a job you love and you won't have to work a day in your life.
A professional is someone who can get the job done right. the highest level, even if he doesn't feel like doing it right now.© Alistair Cooke.
Born to shop, but forced to go to work.
(T) I was somehow languishing, languishing without work and overworked!
So that our salaries do not seem so small and they are enough for more, we just need to make the months shorter
A vacation is when you buy shorts and flip flops, not wallpaper and laminate.
Women will understand me. To say about a housewife: "She stays at home, she is UNEMPLOYED" is simply blasphemous!
Work is not a wolf, a wolf can't fuck like that!
If the boss has forgotten your name, then he does not hold a grudge against you.
The New Year doesn’t make me happy at all, I’m really looking forward to all these phrases, like you took pictures of us last year, but there are still no photos.
Doing bullshit in the workplace develops peripheral vision, hearing, reaction and vigilance in general.
So Sunday comes to me and says: there is no time to explain - tomorrow is Monday.
Do we value work? There's a question mark here! Joy has not been valued in the country for a long time. Who earned a lot more than the boss, That first candidate for dismissal ...
From vacation, as well as from hard drinking, it is necessary to leave gradually.
Comrade! keep your nerves in check! Arriving at work - do not gasp! Fulfilled the plan - send everyone to the point. Didn't fulfill it - on x.
Hiding under a yellow basin. I can't see, no??
There was a safety briefing at work. It turns out that sitting at the computer, you can get burned, hit electric shock, head injury, poisoning and even drown! I won't go to work anymore.
The boss returned from vacation tanned. And now it's even more like shit!
Indifference is our profession!
If you do everything right, then everyone around you will doubt that you are doing anything at all.
Such an adult, but has not yet decided what profession he will be unemployed in.
Passat on the crisis
Our chief says that he feels like a reindeer herder... But I would rather call him the main deer...
We plow and plow, we don’t have the right to afford a smoke break, and change our minds ... or maybe a drop of thought will allow each of us to kill the horse in ourselves.
Mmm, I want it, such a long-awaited ... vacation!
Yesterday they wanted to cut me. But when you hear me scream… “Hurrah! Finally! Show me this loser who will do my job! ”, The boss changed his mind for some reason.
I miss my old job. - Where did you work before? - Nowhere.
Came to work. She looked in the mirror, combed her hair, winked. Well, the fun is over. For the rest, it was possible not to come.
Take an example from Lenin: Krupskaya said that he was going to his mistress, he said to his mistress that Krupskaya demanded to be at home. And he went to the library and worked. work, work...
Distance Paris-Dakar is bullshit! Distance Advance-Salary here is a test!
Who does not work, he successfully married.
I have a clinic for expectant mothers near my work. so pregnant women constantly walk past the windows, maybe it's strange, but over the past two months, almost all the staff have laughed. and why do you think?
Of course, you are a good guy, but there is no such position in the company!!!
If before work you look at women, and after - no, then the work completely satisfies you ...
In the morning I want to sleep, eat during the day, relax in the evening ... Damn, there is no time to work ...
If you don’t do a damn thing, then nothing will happen ... I sit, I don’t do a damn thing ... Why do I need all sorts of trouble?
Eternity is the time from the beginning of the working day to its end. A moment is 28 calendar days of vacation.
At work: before lunch you want to eat, after lunch - sleep. And all the time it feels like it's time to go home!
If you are considered a young, promising employee, then you are fulfilling large quantity work for little pay!
If you work hard 8 hours a day, you can become a boss and work 12 hours a day.
A friend who has reached power is a lost friend
I work, I work, I'm not afraid of work, if the right side gets tired, I'll turn to the left!
You need to come to work either on time or every day.
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