I present to your attention the memos proposed by the specialists of the professional electronic journal"HANDBOOK of the teacher-psychologist. Kindergarten." They are a quick guide for adults who have difficulty accepting and understanding children.
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The child scratches or bites other children. How to act as an educator and parents.
First of all, it is necessary to understand that not all children are able to express their feelings and needs in an understandable adaptive language. It is important to observe the child to understand why he scratches or bites the children in the group.
Sets boundaries in relationships
When a child scratches another child, he may be trying to defend his boundaries in this way. For example, when a toy is taken away from a preschooler, in response, he scratches or bites the offender to show that he is against it. If the child himself claims something, but does not get what he wants, then he gets upset and reacts the same way.
Help your child to adapt in relationships with other children. Teach your preschooler to express their feelings, to express needs in an acceptable way. Label the children's feelings, desires and motivations. Let them know that they feel right, because initially the motives of each child are positive - they protect their needs. Speaking out feelings will give them the opportunity to understand themselves and others.
An example of a teacher's conversation.
Masha, don't you like that they took away your toy? Are you upset and angry? I understand it's not fair. Did you want them to return it and not take it without asking? And you, Maxim, liked this toy so much that you really wanted to play it and did not even see that Masha was now passionate about it. Look, it seems she got really angry when you took her away, even scratched you.
Search together for new helpful ways contact. Set clear boundaries with an explanation: "In our group, scratching and biting is not allowed - it hurts and hurts."
Wants to feel like he exists
The reason for this behavior may be that the child is experimenting with his influence on the world. The preschooler receives feedback and concludes: "They react to me, which means I exist." This may be the only way the child gets attention and feels feedback so far.
Choose games for children that will help them feel that they are visible and influence each other. Create a sense of responsibility for your actions.
Game example.
Children become in a circle. Appoint one of the preschoolers as the leader. The leader's task is to make some kind of gesture that other children will repeat. Then the leader's baton passes to the next child. And so on in turn - one comes up with, others repeat. To make it interesting for children, you can diversify the game with claps.
During such games, the need for involvement in the world is worked out. They also support good mood and develop attention.
Competes for caregiver's attention
If a child scratches other children only in kindergarten, then the reason may be competition for the attention of the educator. Perhaps the preschooler feels that the teacher is more disposed towards other children. Then he discovers that biting and scratching is a good reason to be noticed. Criticism in this case for the child is the result of paying attention to himself.
Let your child know that you notice him, and he does not need to scratch for this. It is important for the preschooler to discover other ways you respond. For example, during the game, take an interest in the child, talk to him about something, or just smile. Notice his positive qualities aloud.
Trying to bring the family together
When a child scratches and bites, it can indicate anxiety. If parents are not aware of their problems, but often swear, then by their behavior the preschooler still feels that the usual is crumbling. He wants the parents to react. Mom and dad are talking, discussing the problem, thinking what to do - then everything is fine, everything is in place, the anxiety subsides, the child is smiling and talkative again. In this case, he will not want to get rid of such behavior, because anxiety for the family will increase.
Pay attention to what is happening in the family. Are you worried that the family may fall apart? Do you rally in situations where a common problem arises? If yes, please contact family psychologist or a psychotherapist. He will build an open dialogue between family members with psychological support: he will help to understand experiences, find words, teach him to hear himself and each other. This will remove the responsibility for maintaining your relationship from the child.
Experiencing family crisis
The behavioral symptom may be the child's response to changes in the family. The preschooler has not yet adapted to the new, and he needs help and support during this period. How to show feelings and ask for help in a different way, he does not yet know.
Have there been any changes in your family, where the usual way of life has changed? It can be the death of loved ones, the birth of new children, moving, accidents, injuries, illnesses, shocking events. If so, seek help from a child psychologist or psychotherapist.
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To the child who attends preparatory group, adults treat as a future student and make high demands. They control his work in the classroom, evaluate his abilities and achievements, and compare him with other children.
Educators give parents recommendations on what to pay attention to: read more, practice writing or practice counting. Parents increase the pressure on the child because they are worried about his future academic success. They begin to take the preschooler to extracurricular activities, and at home they force him to read and write "to make it easier to study in the first grade."
The child feels insecure about himself, his abilities and abilities. He begins to be afraid of school: “Nothing good will happen at school, it’s better in kindergarten.” Preschoolers may develop typical school fears: being late for class, getting a bad grade, not meeting requirements, or being inferior to others.
Words for parents. To avoid negative experiences and fears, do not make high demands on the success and achievements of the child. Do not say that he does not live up to your expectations, do not compare with other children. To prevent anxiety and fears, saturate the life of a future first-grader with positive impressions. Spend more time with your child, play, talk on topics of interest to him, organize walks and sports. Show more attention to his experiences and mood. Discuss the preschooler's worries and concerns. To boost your self-confidence, remind yourself of past successes, such as "You did a great job on practice testing."Reassure your child that he is well prepared:“You have done a lot, you can do a lot”. Give a positive attitude:“You are ready for school, you will succeed.” |
Do not show concern and anxiety in the presence of a child about passing a medical examination, testing, admission to school
If parents are not happy that their child is going to school, then they increase the fears of the preschooler. He imagines that it will be difficult at school, not interesting, or "they can put a deuce, then mom will scold."
Parents sometimes worry that a child will make mistakes and perform worse on tests. Or that at the physical examination, the doctor may find that something is wrong with the child. They worry that at the kindergarten graduation their child will be given a minor role or will perform poorly. The fears of adults negatively affect the child. He is emotionally tense, begins to fear testing and graduation.
According to the materials of the journal “Handbook of a teacher-psychologist. Kindergarten"
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Electronic journal
CONSULTING
How to talk to parents about bad child behavior. Recommendations for teachers
Anna Bocharova
psychologist, gestalt therapist, Moscow
Teach educators special communication techniques so that they can convey information about child misbehavior to parents without conflict. The article contains recommendations for teachers on how to build cooperative relationships with parents and a description of communication techniques.
Teachers need to inform parents not only good, but also negative information about children, if necessary. Sometimes the teacher and the parent are not able to hear each other because of the roles they take in the dialogue. The form of communication affects communication and can lead to emotional conflicts. Tell teachers how to avoid them.
Before communicating, you need to take care of your emotional state in which you are going to communicate information to your parents. If you are unhappy with the situation from the actions of the child, the words may sound like criticism and condemnation in relation to both the child and the parent. The parent will perceive such a message as an attack and will begin to defend himself.
First, you need to realize that you are angry at the obstacle that has arisen. If you are dissatisfied, then in communication with your parents you can take a position of condemnation. It means that you are not ready to cooperate now. Before talking, you need to emotionally detach from the situation. Switch your attention to restore psychological balance.
You need to think about what exactly you are worried about and ask yourself the questions: “What obstacle does this situation create in my work as a teacher?”, “What difficulty does it create for the successful socialization of a child?”. Only after that you need to tune in to cooperation with parents. When communicating, it is worth considering your interests as a teacher, and the interests of a parent in caring for a child. You need to argue your position and use active listening. It is important to make it clear to parents that they have the same goal with the teacher - to develop the child.
Advice
Emphasis should be placed on the achievements of the child, even if they are not very significant for the teacher.
If you know the techniques for effective communication with parents, then it will be easier for you to avoid conflict. Consider the features of the work of four techniques: “From negative to positive”, “Not looking for someone to blame, but finding a solution to problems”, “Speech stamps for cooperation”, “Speech style “lawyer””.
Technique "From negative to positive"
Use this technique to inform parents important information about children in a positive context. This will help parents to listen to the opinion of the teacher, and tune in to cooperation. With the help of positive perception, parents will be able to understand the situation without feeling shame and guilt for their child. Emphasis should be placed on the achievements of the child, even if they are not significant.
You should rephrase the content of the appeal in a positive way. See the table for paraphrasing examples.
An example of replacing a negative appeal with a positive one
negative form | positive form |
“Your child is misbehaving. He fights with other kids." | “Your son knows how to stand up for his needs and protect himself. This is important for life. But he finds it hard to express it in a safe way. Let's think together how to help him maintain friendly relations with children. |
"Your child is hyperactive, restless, naughty" | “Your son is very inquisitive and is interested in everything during classes, he even manages to get carried away with something else. I have no doubt that he will be an erudite person. But sometimes it prevents him from concentrating in order to complete the work to the end and get a satisfied state. |
“Your daughter always gets hysterical when they don’t give her something!” | “Your daughter always knows what she wants and is able to insist on her desires. This speaks to her determination. But sometimes she finds it difficult to cope with the restrictions. Let's think together how we can help her in this. |
Technique "Not looking for someone to blame, but finding a solution to problems"
In a conversation with parents on this technique, the emphasis should not be on accusation, but on a joint search for ways to solve the problem. It is better to start the conversation by telling something good about the child, and then move on to unpleasant moments.
When you report unpleasant moments, you need to talk only about the child's act, and not about his personality. It is also worth ending such a conversation on a good note.
Example. Veronica learned the rules well today new game. But she hasn’t coped with the rules in the classroom yet - she took the album and paints from Katya. If you learn to play with her by the rules at home, then she will learn them better in the classroom. This will allow her to quickly join the children's team. She is very capable of you. On the this moment interested in how to play chess.
Technique "Speech stamps for cooperation"
Address parents in the form of requests, not demands. For example, start a conversation with the phrases:
– “Could you…”;
- "I ask… ".
You should also pay attention, ask the opinion of parents:
"Have you noticed that in recent times…»;
- "What do you think it could be connected with?"
Next, invite parents to jointly search for solutions to problems, which will emphasize the commonality of interests. For example, say:
- "Let's try to do it together ...";
- "And if we stick to one strategy, it will help him in ...";
- "You and I could help Sasha in ...";
How can we help you to...
Technique "Speech style "lawyer""
The speech style "lawyer" will show your respect and interest in relation to your parents. Examples of speech style phrases:
- "No matter how serious the situation, we will try to find a way out of it, and I extend a helping hand to you";
“I don't blame you or your child for what happened. If this happened, then there are some reasons for this ”;
– “It is important for me not to identify these reasons, not to express my approval or censure, but to provide assistance in the current situation”;
- "I am a teacher, and my professional task is to give knowledge to the child, which he can use in life."
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Quarterly scientific and practical journal. Published since 1998
The publication is addressed to psychologists, methodologists, educators, game and fairy tale therapists, family therapists, teachers. Sections: « Theoretical problems preschool psychology”; "Classic"; "Psychodiagnostics"; "Game therapy and fairy tale therapy"; "Psychological counseling"; "Psychology for parents"; "Development programs"; "Creativity of our children"; "Abroad"; "Messages, information, bibliography".
Co-editors: Kolesnikov V. G., Lidere A. G.
You can subscribe to one of the following addresses:
249020, Obninsk-1, PO Box 1022, Psychological center"Childhood", V. G. Kolesnikov;
117261, Moscow, PO Box 754, A. G. Lidersu.
Psychological newspaper
Address: 198005, St. Petersburg, Moskovsky pr. 19, IMATON. Tel.: (812) 327-57-57.
Psychological newspaper: "We and the world"
Ch. editor: A. A. Zhigarkov. Index according to the Rospechat catalog: 32842.
Editorial address: 123056, Moscow, PO box 29.
Tel./Fax: (095) 250-53-02.
Psychological consultation
Popular science magazine, published since January 1998. Subject: marriage and family; intimacy; school of psychologist-consultant; self-knowledge and self-development; archetypes; people and animals; upbringing and education; physical and mental health; psychology and art. Ch. editor: Tatyana Gruzinova.
Address: 123424, Moscow, Volokolamsk Highway, 73, Research and Development Center "Resource". Tel./Fax: (095) 186-30-14.
Psychological Science and Education
Journal for psychologists, teachers, education managers.
Founders: Psychological Institute of the Russian Academy of Education, International Educational and Psychological College. Ch. editor: full member of the Russian Academy of Education, Professor V. V. Rubtsov.
Send an order for the purchase of the magazine and proposals for cooperation to the address: 103009, Moscow, st. Herzen, 16, room. 312, International College of Education and Psychology. Tel.: (095) 229–89–88.
Psychological journal
Founded in January 1980, published 6 times a year. Published by the Russian Academy of Sciences.
Editorial address: 129366, Moscow I-366, st. Yaroslavskaya, 13. Tel.: (095) 283-53-20, 283-58-10.
More on the topic Kindergarten psychologist:
- B. S. Volkov, N. V. Volkova. Psychology of communication in childhood. 3rd ed. - St. Petersburg: Peter. - 272 p.: ill. - (Series "Child psychologist"), 2008
- 2.3. Normative documentation of a child practical psychologist
- 1.2. The formation of child practical psychology in Russia
- 1.1. The formation of child practical psychology and pedology
- # 1. Asking questions, defining the range of tasks, clarifying the subject of child psychology
In order to successfully carry out psychological and pedagogical practice in kindergarten, it is necessary to develop the skills and abilities to organize space around oneself. This applies to all aspects of activity, from equipping the office and ending with the ability to plan time for organizational and methodological work.
Only then will there be satisfaction from work, when a number of actions are brought to automatism. And above all, this applies to documentation. If you sit over each line in thought, then precious minutes, and sometimes even hours, go away. Day after day passes, and now irritation and heavy thoughts appear that either papers or activity - it seems impossible to combine this into a fruitfully spent day.
However, if you think about it, even in the bureaucratic flow, the teacher-psychologist does not have such a colossal workload, as it seems at the very beginning. The thing is that we often get lost and do not know which side to approach this or that paper. Lack of experience, and sometimes no one to ask.
The most, perhaps, the main documentation of a teacher - a psychologist of a preschool institution, which you will be asked for during verification, is the Work Journal. This is where the main entries are made. Often, for many aspiring psychologists, the stumbling block is balancing between the need for a record and mandatory confidentiality. Therefore, it is worth mastering the ability to encode information.
I make short notes, but they are very informative for me. You can find a number of coding options online. However, the point is that you can come up with the code yourself. It is possible to encode all aspects of psychological pedagogical practice. So, you can encode with an abbreviation both individual work and group work. For example: Ik-r (individual correctional and developmental work). So the entry " ind. box - razv. work (19/11♀checkpoint)" might look like this: " IK-r (19/11♀cat)".
Let's read the entry: individual correctional and developmental work with Natasha Romanova, who is provided with comprehensive psychological and pedagogical support"(of course, the name is arbitrary). In order not to get confused in the codes, you need to have a separate notebook or file on the computer. For example, I have 10 groups. We take the payroll, each child has its own number on the list. Thus, each child can be encoded in the following way: list number/group number, gender symbol. For those children who receive psychological and pedagogical support, I supplement with a record - a code of the direction of work in which psychological and pedagogical support is provided. For example, CPP is a comprehensive psychological and pedagogical support, VnSk is attention and self-control, IrUrPr is the development of intelligence, mental development (development of the cognitive sphere), the development of cognitive activity etc. etc. The coding of subgroups of correctional and developmental work is convenient for me in alphabetical order: Subgroup A, Subgroup B etc.
In the classic "blue" version, which is recommended, there are a number of points that confused me and forced me to rework it a bit. The changes are quite insignificant - this is a modification - an adaptation specifically for a preschool psychologist. However, not all recommendations given in the magazine look correct. So, when filling out the Journal of accounting for types of work, an example is given (at the end of the journal), when the record contains information that contributes to the identification of a person. This should not be allowed. And therefore, of course, we turn again to the encoding. For example, В1/9- this is one of the educators of group No. 9, Sun- age screening.
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