Maternity leave and waiting for the birth of a long-awaited baby is the most fertile time for thoughts, reflections, dreams and statuses. The woman is in anticipation of the appearance of a new person - her beloved child, her mood is high, and most importantly - a lot of free time, and she gladly posts statuses about the decree. The same state occurs after the birth of a child - only there is a little less time for statuses.
Everything will happen soon
Expecting a baby is a wonderful time for any mom-to-be. She gets ready and imagines what her daughter or son will be like, buys clothes for him and chooses a stroller and a crib. All thoughts are directed only to the fact that the child is born sooner - healthy, strong, and the birth went without complications. Decree statuses can be a little agitated, but always positive:
- You live in me - every day I feel how close you are already.
- I'm waiting for you, my baby, you are the best thing that could happen to me.
- I catch every moment and listen to you - we will meet soon.
- I only saw you in the ultrasound photo, I look forward to your appearance.
- When you rest your heel on my stomach, you signal that it's time.
- My baby lives in me, it's just a miracle!
- We walk together for hours, on a walk my baby is always calm and does not kick.
- I remember every moment until you were born, but already with me.
The long-awaited baby was born
After giving birth, there is no limit to the joy of the mother - the long-awaited happened - her baby was born. And ahead - three years of maternity leave and close communication with your child. Mom wants to share every moment and put statuses about maternity leave and how her baby is developing:
- The best three years are ahead of us - dating, addiction, love and understanding.
- The first month - they only slept and ate, the second they began to "hoot", the third - tears appeared and a loud cry, the fourth - you already understand everything.
- “What a calm child I have - he gives his mother both to sleep and to sit on the Internet,” - I thought so for a short time - only one month.
- Even sleepless nights with a baby are joy and happiness.
- Maternity leave is not even a vacation, it is an immersion in the active rhythm of life, where there is no place for makeup, manicure and other unimportant matters.
- Why is a decree called a vacation? This is work, though not hard labor, but very difficult.
- My husband promised to take me on vacation for so long that he finally fulfilled - he just didn’t take me anywhere, but arranged a resort at home - “rest, dear, for three whole years, I promised.”
- I spin like a squirrel in a wheel - but there are no results, only my child knows that we have done a bunch of important things: scattered, collected, swept, poured, erased, painted, washed and so on.
- My husband's question when I'm on maternity leave: "Well, what did you do?" - just unsettling - sunbathing, swimming, going to a makeup artist, damn it ...
- I always wanted my husband to see what a mess 20 minutes before his arrival. But my conscience does not allow me to keep everything the way we “played enough” with the child.
- Calm and measured maternity leave ends when your baby crawled. Everything is on the alert every minute. I'm afraid to think what will happen when he runs ...
- Most of all, the fact that the son went, dad rejoiced. Of course, he's been at work all day...
- My child took the first steps. Well, the competition "Try, catch up!" starts!
- Husbands are known on vacation - especially on maternity leave.
- I am so sorry unmarried childless, but well-groomed and beautiful girlfriend. Whenever they meet, she always strokes my head and says with sadness: “Well, you, mother, have passed: you have gained weight, your hair is greasy, your eyes are crazy ...” and you don't have it.
- Maternity leave is held under the motto “All the best for children! Nothing for yourself!”
- While on maternity leave, I removed the mirrors, I don’t need them yet.
- Going out for a walk with a stroller is going out into the world. Only then do you remember that you haven’t washed your face or combed your hair yet, and it’s like you haven’t brushed your teeth either ...
- Before, when the men on the street turned their necks, I knew for sure that I was so beautiful. Now the reaction is different - probably milk on the jacket, oily hair, face in baby puree ...
- Every minute communication with a child on maternity leave is an undoubted joy, but sometimes you want to close yourself in an empty dark room for at least an hour ...
- Maternity leave is a real vacation, but not for yourself.
- On maternity leave, everyone rests, but I don’t remember myself.
- As soon as the baby was born, my husband began evening planning meetings, reporting and meetings of the founders.
- On maternity leave there is enough time for everything, but not for yourself.
All that's left is to cry
When fatigue already overwhelms all emotions, mommy can sit down for 5 minutes and relax, setting cool statuses about the decree. After all, only humor and positive can relieve chronic fatigue, lack of sleep and overwork:
- The first two months are difficult, then you realize that they were the easiest.
- This morning I saw myself in the mirror - I got scared, I thought my mother-in-law had arrived.
- Previously, laws were called decrees, now they are full-length fun.
- I learned to sleep for 3 hours, hear the child's breathing in a dream, predict his mood, accurately find nipples and bottles in the dark - maybe I'm becoming a psychic? ..
- I began to understand those mothers who dream of working on maternity leave.
- Running in a circle on maternity leave is comparable to a marathon - there are no stops, you can only drink water on the go.
- Now with nostalgia I remember those years when I was bored.
- I began to enjoy the child’s sleep - only in these moments I can make myself coffee and drink it calmly.
- On the decree, I had to buy new shoes - all without heels - why do I need them?
- Yes, I immediately forget my lack of sleep and fatigue, as soon as the child begins to smile at me and holds out his arms.
- For his smile, she is ready to stay up for three more nights.
- "On holiday?" the neighbors sitting on the bench asked me. I wanted to answer: "On a hero vacation!". But she smiled sweetly and said: “Yes, relatively.”
- If it were not for my mother and her daily walks with a stroller for 2 hours, I would have gone wild and turned into a beast.
- Sitting on maternity leave - how is it? I can't even sit down for a minute.
- My best time is at 22.30 - the baby is sleeping, the husband is still at work. I'm alone!
- After a friend’s question on the phone: “Well, how are you doing there, is it fun?” I always invite her to have fun together. Never came. Even though you didn't have to call.
All day positive
In any situation, especially on maternity leave, mom should not lose her composure and patience. This will help the joke and the statuses about maternity leave are cool:
- I really want to fall into postpartum depression - lie down, moan, mope. They don't, especially my baby.
- Yes, postpartum depression is the lot of the elite, apparently those who have nurses at hand.
- Sometimes I get so tired on maternity leave that I want to go on non-maternity leave.
- I catch myself thinking that I'm starting to hate Rapunzel, Luntik and even Winnie the Pooh.
- Toys forever scattered throughout the apartment make me do exercises several times a day.
- It is necessary to treat maternity leave as heaven on earth - the child is healthy, fed, clean, the floors are washed, the dishes too, there is no dust, there were walks, nothing that you with a kulty on your head and forgot to wash - but everything shines, and everyone is happy.
- Only on maternity leave can you check your friends: those who are constantly busy are crossed out from the list.
- Of all the friends on maternity leave, only my mother helped me.
- When I ask my husband to take a walk with the child on the weekend, he playfully answers me: “It’s so wonderful to go out with a stroller, get some fresh air!” But it’s okay that I experience these “beautiful things” 2-3 times a day, and besides, I cook. I wash, wash, sew, iron, play, cook again, mine again, stroke again, feed again ...
- A good husband on his weekends lets you sleep, go to the hairdresser and even to his girlfriends. The bad one gives it all to himself.
- The first month of maternity leave was so happy - freedom! I got up, fed, changed diapers, hooted - and that's it, the baby sleeps for 3-4 hours, and I'm a princess. Now the prince is my son.
- Kindergarten soon! I didn't think I'd be so happy about the end of my vacation.
- Five minutes in Odnoklassniki costs a mother 3 hours of general cleaning.
- I just got into the computer for 5 minutes. Where did the torn, ragged curtains come from, the gutted pillow, the brilliant green spilled on the floor, the scattered flour? Poltergeist? No, this is my inquisitive baby.
- After today's "mama's battle" I made a conclusion for myself - to enter the computer only when he is already sleeping.
- Maternity leave is joy and sadness, a storm of emotions and passions, perpetual motion and fuss, and a vacationer is a multi-armed polynomial.
- With the change of power, the attitude towards people also changes. There used to be WORKERS, and now WORKERS.
- In the spring, I don't want to work like that. and if you fall in love.
- The most responsible days at work are salary and advance payment.
- For such a salary, you can only leave the house, get to the nearest transport and go back))
- If the authorities think that what they pay is a salary, then let them also think that what I do is work.
- We have two secretaries at work - one for work, the second for the boss.
- I go to work to play on the computer, drink tea and chat with the director.
Statuses with a joke
I don't usually sleep with guys on the first date.
But this time, she could not stand it and fell asleep.
Philosophical logic is the art of telling lies. Scientific logic is the art of stating the obvious. Women's logic is the art of telling obvious lies. Our country cannot be defeated. Even after the war, we kill German cars on our roads. Having familiarized myself with the prices for various organs of the body, I was once again convinced that I have a very rich inner world. What a Russian mat, then a Chinese surname. -Don't blow my mind! I don't think they even brought him in!
The Lord keeps us all. It's just that everyone has a different shelf life. If a woman says that the sexiest thing about a man is his brains, then that's what she's going to fuck. Well, why do I need your sines, cosines?
Am I going to the store and measuring the angles between the meridians of bread? Men are like books: some are boring, some are interesting, and sometimes they have money hidden in them.
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Vacation Many people associate vacation with rest.
These words even sound similar, which is why we associate them.
For those who are looking for where and how to relax, we have also compiled a separate section in which we will talk about holidays in the most countries of the world in different months. In addition, we will tell you about the peculiarities of the visa regime for certain countries, as well as provide a list of countries that you can travel to without a visa. For many, during a crisis, questions arise with the fact that employees are sent on unpaid leave. Many, for a variety of reasons, want to take a vacation at their own expense.
We will also consider the issues of such a vacation.
And of course, we will not forget about such moments as vacation pay.
Discussions PHRASES after sex. Aries. ok, rushed in a new way! Taurus.
I am hungry! pass me the pizza! twins. where's the remote from the TV set? cancer. when will we get married? lion. wasn't it true that I was (a) magnificent (gorgeous)? virgin. let me see the sheets. Libra: If you liked it, I liked it too. Scorpio. perhaps now you can untie. Sagittarius. don't call me, I'll call myself. capricorn. Do you have a business card? Aquarius. and now let's try without clothes! fish. so what do you say your name is?
A woman is always right.2. If the woman is not right, see paragraph 1.3. There are never too many boots.4.
Bags too.5. Underwear even more so.6. Not to mention cosmetics.7. Women's logic exists.8. If you think it doesn't exist, see
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clause 1.9. Diamonds are the best investment.10.
Information Description: Express business dating - connecting the right people in one place and making it possible to get the maximum number of contacts in a short time. WHO WE WANT TO SEE: - mothers and future mothers, - employers who are looking for online employees, and off-line work at home for mothers. Show more… — leisure for moms- training for moms- psychologist for moms- fitness and beauty for moms- nutritionists for moms and children- family photographers- nannies-.
let us know who else you would like to see. A modern mother, thanks to modern methods and technologies, can devote more time to her baby. Recently, the face of motherhood has changed a lot - women tend to deal only with a child during the period of caring for a baby.
Work for women on maternity leave includes many options - both part-time jobs and full-time jobs remotely.
Cool statuses about the decree
Who said that a decree is a vacation. The decree is work in two shifts plus night duty. DECREE - the same job. Only the boss is younger.)))
Decree is also work.
only you have to carry the boss in your arms))) Maternity leave, of course, leaves an imprint on the female brain ... I have no idea what is happening in the country, but I know that Luntik's grandfather's name is Shershul ...)))
A FRIEND IS KNOWN IN TROUBLE, AND A HUSBAND IS ON Maternity Leave!
Girls, do not believe the phrase "SIT" in the decree.
In it they wash, wash, clean, cook, feed, play, draw, sing, read, sculpt, teach, put to sleep, catch up, hide, crawl on all fours, rock to sleep, soothe - but just DO NOT SIT!
Cool statuses about maternity leave
AT seven for now. I flew. I will be in three years.
***
To cool to be on maternity leave!!! I jumped up at 6 o’clock, fed, washed, played “cookie”, cooked dinner, fed, put me to bed, washed, fed, played “cookie”, bought, put me to bed, you can go and comb ...
***
To Every woman needs to go on maternity leave sometimes...to take care of herself!
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D A secret vacation, of course, leaves an imprint on the female brain ... I have no idea what is happening in the country, but I know that Luntik's grandmother's name is Baba Kapa ...
D friend is known in trouble.. Hero in battle.. Wife in poverty.. Husband on maternity leave.
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D A secret vacation is a time when going to the store is perceived as going out, and going to the hairdresser, in general, is a business trip!
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FROM With the advent of a child, a woman develops inhuman abilities - to see in the dark ... to hear through a dream ... to walk silently and not sleep for days ...
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H and interviews:
Where did the last employee go?
- Gone on maternity leave!
- It's dangerous here...
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To THEN SAID THAT THE DECREE IS A VACATION?! The decree is work in two shifts, plus night duty!
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P After weaning the baby, she sipped coffee not because she really wanted to, but because she could.
M already gave me a ticket to the resort - ‘DECRET’!!! Such an extensive program, even there is no time to sleep!!!
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P As long as a small child hasn’t run out of cookies, mom must have time to wash, get dressed, eat and wash dishes ... The army is resting compared to the decree ...
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AT the same luck for those men whose spouse is on maternity leave: the floors are washed, the linen is ironed, the first, second, third and compote are ALWAYS ready ... Moreover, the wife’s breasts are like those of Pamela Anderson at no cost!
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P The process of decorating a Christmas tree in a house where there is a two-year-old child is almost endless.
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AT I'm bored... You have nothing to do... Give birth... and everything will pass!!!
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E If you do not sleep at night, then either you are on maternity leave or on the Internet
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T Only mothers on maternity leave understand how nice it is to drink tea alone at 2 am!
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E x, it's good to stay at home with a small child! Sometimes you get up at 7 in the morning, the sun is shining, the birds are singing, you go into the kitchen, pour hot freshly brewed coffee and ... drink it in a cold evening, when the birds are already sleeping and the moon is shining ...
R the baby is sleeping and ... mom is free !!! Do you want to wash, do you want to clean, do you want to steam at the stove !!! Rest... I don't want to!
***
And I'm still a witch!
While my child is sleeping, and this is 2-2.5 hours, I have time: to walk down the street with him, cook food, clean the house, chat in Odnoklassniki, sit in ZhM, drink tea, watch TV ... Well, am I not a sorceress!
According to the AFP agency, in accordance with the national legislation of the United States, all new mothers have the right to be absent from work for 12 weeks after giving birth, but without any material compensation.
In other countries, on the contrary, the state cares not only about the material support of its citizens, but also about the conditions: the number of days necessary for the prenatal and postnatal period is carefully studied and assigned.
For example, in Croatia, women will receive 100% of their salary for a whole year during their maternity leave. In Norway, both parents receive 10 months of leave for two, four of which are exclusively for the father, and both receive 80% of their salary.
Five US states, including California and New York, offer some form of maternity leave compensation, but statistics show that only 12% of women in the private sector have access to paid leave.
This often puts women and their families at a stalemate, forcing them to choose between their health and that of their child and their family's income. Since women who are unable to receive compensation are forced to return to work 10 days after giving birth, this makes it impossible to breastfeed, which is so necessary for the child, and also endangers the health of the mother herself. From a medical point of view, a woman is advised to stay at home for at least six weeks after giving birth.
Only women on maternity leave know what it's like to take care of yourself when you have small children. And especially when the kids are sleeping. I just shaved one leg or plucked one eyebrow, and that's it, the end of happiness, you run to feed the child! And then, you get so wrapped up that when you go out for a walk, you remember what you didn’t do, when you catch the bewildered glances of passers-by and straighten your bangs. :)
I did a lot, a lot in the morning and cleaned and cooked, and rolled up a salad for the winter, and lowered the already made seamings into the basement, and played with the children, and fed them, and bought them, and put them to bed at lunchtime. I sat thinking “What haven’t you done yet?”. I remembered the hungry pig, went and poured him food. She hung out the laundry and then put the pig under a tree so that she could pick up the broken soft-boiled apricots. He likes them very much and by inertia already bought him from a hose, sent him to his place to sleep. Here are all fed clean - sleeping.
After watching the animated series “Monkeys” with my children, I recognized myself this way, although I only have two toddlers, but I also run after them all day long correcting their mistakes and pranks explaining that it’s impossible. But children are children and they have a lot of strength for the whole day until late at night. Only towards evening, fatigue knocks me off my feet. But it's a great time
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