Who is the first to say hello when they meet? Business etiquette: handshake Who shakes hands first

In this article we will look at the nuances of tradition - how to shake hands when meeting, what handshakes mean for men and women, their features and norms.

A sign of good relations

You often have to shake hands with another person. This gesture comes from antiquity; it means openness and cordiality. An open palm symbolizes the absence of weapons (aggression), the desire for peace, and goodwill. The gesture excludes aggression; not giving a hand in response is a sign of bad manners or rudeness.

When two people touch their palms, it means trust, admission to personal space. In this case, hands are seen as an important communication tool.

You can shake hands with another person when meeting, meeting, and saying goodbye, if the deal is sealed. In a physical sense, they literally hold out a hand to prevent a person from falling.

What then does it mean to give a helping hand? This can be done both directly and figuratively- provide support in any form (even remotely). Simply by listening to a person and giving him good advice, you can provide him with your support.

Rules of politeness

There is a tradition: to shake hands when meeting. According to the rules of etiquette, this is an act of politeness, a manifestation of education and respect for a person.

Even the ancient Greeks depicted scenes of men shaking hands on clay amphorae and jugs. For women this rule did not exist for a long time. They began to stretch the hands of the men and each other in the process of emancipation.

This custom does not exist among all nations. Europeans like to shake hands more than others when they meet. And in some eastern states they don’t know or use such a gesture. Therefore, when visiting other countries, you need to be interested in their traditions.

Let's consider important nuances, which every cultured person needs to know.

Types of handshakes

Oddly enough, there are several types of handshakes.

Traditional. In it, everything happens as usual: one person extends an open palm to another, and the second one shakes it.
The handshake of the wrists is French. In this case, people reach out and lightly grab each other's wrists.
Comradely - plexus of hands. Sometimes it is accompanied by a touch of the shoulders and a pat on the back with the second, free hand.
The outdated handshake is touch. In it, the palms touch lightly, only with the tips of the fingers, as if “denoting” a traditional gesture. Women usually greet with such a slight movement.
The handshake of politicians (glove), it is carried out with both hands and possibly with gloves. IN ordinary life is not common, or can only happen between very close people.

Features of a man's handshake

You can tell a lot about him by the way a man shakes his hand. The outstretched hand cannot shake; the person does it confidently and calmly. The compression force should be sufficient, but not exceed reasonable limits (no “crunch”). A weak handshake reveals the same character, you need to keep this in mind.

Hard pressure denotes power. The important answer here is that he can be equal (have the same strength) or submissive (be weaker). The turn of the palm is also symbolic; the unspoken principle of “who is on top” works. By extending their hand, palm down, they demonstrate dominance - they cover the hand of the interlocutor, as if indicating dominance. On the contrary, turning upward, they give the interlocutor the opportunity for initiative and seniority.

The most correct behavior would be to maintain the same squeezing force on your palm as your interlocutor. This is a sign of equality and respect.

To cause pain while shaking hands with your counterpart means to show aggression, suppress or humiliate. And this behavior completely contradicts the very idea of a handshake.

To refuse an outstretched hand is a direct insult or an involuntary demonstration of one’s own bad manners. When the refusal is conscious, the interlocutor’s intentions and attitude towards him become clear, which can become the cause of further conflict.

A man always offers his hand to a woman only with the edge of the palm up; any additional meanings of this gesture are inappropriate here. You should also not use force (like a rude and impudent lout).

Who gives a hand?

According to etiquette, important whoever gives his hand first has. Let's consider the nuances.

Among friends and peers, it doesn’t matter who extends their palm first when they meet. But if one of the men is older in age, status or position, then it is he who dominates and takes the initiative to shake hands.

For men and women the picture is different. The lady herself has the right to decide whether to extend her hand to a gentleman or an acquaintance. This also applies to the business sphere. But this is where status priority comes into play. If a man is a boss, then he has the right to be the first to greet his subordinate. Or a teacher with a student.

Likewise, if a lady has a high position, she is the first to extend her hand to any subordinate, regardless of gender.

With a large crowd of people

If you have to greet a friend or colleague surrounded by an unfamiliar company, then you first need to greet him, and then shake hands with the others.

When there are too many people, there is no point in being funny - trying to embrace everyone with your warm greeting; a nod of the head or a slight bow of the body will be enough. This is relevant when visiting crowded events as guests.

In the same way, it is worth saying goodbye - a slight nod or bow, and you can shake hands only with the owner of the house or the leader of the event.

When several couples meet, representatives of the fairer sex are “passed forward”. First, women greet each other, then they greet other men (they extend their hands to them), and then only the men themselves shake hands. This way you can avoid “tangle of hands”.

Between man and woman

As we see, the rules for a handshake between a man and a woman are the simplest. Let's summarize.

The lady greets first, but may not shake hands.
The boss can shake hands with any of her subordinates (a matter of status).
Women, unlike men, are not required to remove gloves when shaking hands. Except in situations where one of them is much older. Then the youngest should take them off.
It is not customary for ladies to shake hands (in most cases).
A Muslim woman cannot shake hands; her religion does not allow this.
A man should not use force towards a woman at the moment of greeting. This is a generally accepted norm of politeness.
If a woman offers her hand to a man, he does not have to shake it. A gallant gentleman can leave his kiss on the back of his hand. The lady should not be scared and pull out the handle.

Prohibitions

You should remember what you should absolutely not do.

Shake the other person's hand. It's very annoying.
Shake your palm with both hands at once (unless you are a politician).
Hold your counterpart’s hand in yours for too long; it is optimal to do this for up to 5 seconds.
Keep your free hand in your pocket when shaking hands.
Do not offer your hand in response to an outstretched hand. This is outright rudeness.
“Breaking bones” of another person, demonstrating one’s own strength.

Conclusion

So what does it mean to shake hands when meeting? This is a kind and reasonable gesture. It’s not for nothing that people have been using it since ancient times, since an outstretched hand helps to communicate and convey to the interlocutor their attitude: respect, openness, peacefulness and honesty.

Giving a helping hand is a gesture of the soul, and the hand symbolizes a way of sincere interaction between people.

All the features of a woman's handshake. IN modern world, unlike past centuries, they no longer strictly observe the rules of etiquette, however, courtesy and secular manners still play an important role in the communication of business people. Thus, a number of factors will influence the positive impressions of the first meeting: the ability to behave and adherence to the rules of behavior.

When meeting, women often exchange greetings, a hug or a kiss, but sometimes it is very difficult to neglect a handshake, the range of uses of which is very wide - from congratulations and approval to reconciliation and farewell.

Traditional handshake

A strong handshake speaks of a person’s friendliness, strong position in life and sociability. It must be remembered that a weak touch with the fingertips, so common among women, in a business environment will express uncertainty and nervousness. Although ladies in Russia are not used to shaking hands, you should under no circumstances refuse, since a foreign business partner may consider this an insult.

For a proper handshake, you should remember a few simple points:

You can’t shake your hand, a slight sway is enough;
It is necessary to avoid shaking with both hands, since this is only permissible for close relationships;
a squeeze duration of 3-5 seconds is considered the best option, do not speed up or delay;
the hand is presented confidently but elegantly;
It is best to look your partner in the eyes while shaking hands to emphasize your sincerity;
a pleasant, friendly smile will also not be superfluous.

Kiss your hand

Kiss of a lady's hand - ancient custom, which is still widely popular in the West. So, in Poland, a man will definitely bring a woman’s hand to his lips at every meeting, as well as when parting.

You should not offer your hand for a kiss outside the room, or bring it close to your face, leaving the man no choice. There are also the opposite situations, when the hand offered for a handshake is kissed. In such cases, you should not be embarrassed or try to pull your hand away, because from the outside it looks very impolite. To avoid a repetition of the situation, you can try to explain to the person or simply avoid further contact.

Glove or not, that is the question

When greeting with a handshake, a lady is allowed to leave her gloves on, unless she is dating another woman who is older. However, shaking hands without any barriers looks sincere. Mittens and gloves made of thick leather can make shaking hands much more difficult, so it is preferable to remove them.

It must be borne in mind that when exposing one hand, it is worth doing the same with the other, with the exception of gloves made of fabric and silk, which are an element of evening dress.

Handshake rules

The woman decides whether to offer a hand to shake or not, but if we are talking about the relationship between two ladies, then the eldest one, who is in a higher position and also joins the group of speakers, greets first. If, according to the rules, the one who did not want to do so should be the first to give a hand, then there is no need to insist.

Apart from hand serving primacy, there are some situations to consider.

You can accept an extended hand while sitting. You will have to stand up if a woman who is older or higher in position offers her hand.
Always give only your right hand. You can give a left hand and apologize in advance if the main one is injured for some reason or there is no way to free her.
When you meet an acquaintance among strangers and decide to greet him with a handshake, you need to greet all the other people in this company in the same way.
The correct order for greeting two couples is as follows: the ladies shake hands, then greet the men, ending with a man's handshake.
It is worth extending your hand at the very end, since it is not customary to walk or stand with an outstretched hand, and it looks somewhat ridiculous.
Shaking hands across the table is not very correct.
During the reception, you must shake hands with all guests without exception. As a guest, you will also have to shake hands with everyone, regardless of personal relationships.

Cultural aspects of handshakes that are important to remember

In business circles and everyday life, shaking hands is not uncommon in the countries of the former USSR.
Among those practicing Islam and Judaism, shaking hands, even as a form of brief touching, between persons of different sexes is strictly prohibited. The exception is blood relatives.
IN South-East Asia It is not customary to offer a hand in greeting.
In Japan, the handshake has not taken root and is not used among women. This may be due to the fact that Japanese ladies try to avoid direct contact and the gaze that accompanies shaking hands.
The British rarely shake hands, especially when it comes to saying goodbye. The greeting handshake is also unpopular, especially compared to other European countries and the United States. But if the British decide to make this gesture, then it must be initiated by a man.
The Germans and Swiss use a handshake on every occasion, since this gesture is important element in personal communication.
There are situations when there is no firm certainty about what is correct and whether it is worth resorting to a handshake. In this case the best way out will offer a hand, showing politeness. If an outstretched hand is not accepted, do not be offended or take it personally.

It's safe to say that the handshake has become overused. For example, colleagues who meet at work every day do not necessarily have to shake hands in the morning when greeting each other, and in the evening when saying goodbye. When offering your hand for a handshake, it is important to remember not to extend it to your friend in a lazy, relaxed manner, as if handing him cherry jelly to hold. Also, you should not squeeze your partner’s hand with a gigantic effort, swinging it in different directions several times. You need to offer your hand in a free and confident gesture, leading to a clear and short handshake.

When shaking hands, a woman may not use her glove unless she is shaking hands with a woman who is significantly older. According to the rules of etiquette, men should wear gloves when greeting each other. If one of them takes off his glove, then the other must also take off his. If a woman is wearing one, a man, when greeting her, may also leave his on. But if a man is wearing warm mittens, they will have to be removed.

But kissing a woman’s hand has become completely unpopular. Now this is mainly a feature of Polish traditions.

When meeting on the street, it is worth remembering that you should extend your hand for a handshake if both of your hands are wearing gloves or both without them. You should not extend your gloved hand to a woman who is not wearing one. But in a similar case with a man, as well as with someone who is younger than you, this rule can be neglected. A woman greeting a younger woman may also not follow this rule.

When entering a room, you first need to take off your gloves, and only then greet those present, but not if the gloves are part of the toilet.

Remember that you should not be the first to offer your hand when introducing yourself. It doesn’t matter whether you introduce yourself or someone else introduces you to those present. You shouldn’t go up to each of the people gathered and shake hands. In this case, it is best to limit yourself to a slight bow. With this gesture you will show everyone's attention.

How to greet acquaintances when meeting?

The man should always greet the woman first, and the younger should greet the elder. A woman should be the first to greet someone older than her. If a woman who is older than you shakes her hand during a greeting while you are sitting, you are supposed to stand up immediately.

If a man and a woman meet, the woman should make the decision about the handshake. She is the first to offer her hand, but in accordance with the norms of etiquette in a number of European countries, a man can also offer his hand first. When meeting people of different ages The handshake is initiated by an older person. During the introduction, the person being introduced must give his hand first. Remember that you should always respond with a handshake if someone extends their hand to you. Under no circumstances should you leave your outstretched hand hanging in the air. This could be an insult.

To shake hands, you need to present your right hand. If it is damaged or occupied, you can also submit left hand, but in this case, you must definitely apologize before doing so.

If you shake hands with one person, when you approach a group of people, you will need to shake hands with the others.

To avoid crossing hands when two couples meet, there is a certain order of handshakes.
If women stand to the right of men, as is traditional, then first they shake hands with each other, then the men, and only then the men shake hands. If one of the women is to the left of the man, it turns out that the man stands opposite the man, and the woman stands opposite the woman, which makes it possible to shake hands at the same time without interfering with anyone.

In this article you will read

Handshake etiquette and rules: who shakes hands first?

The General Director constantly has to meet and communicate with new people: at business meetings, negotiations, conferences, and informal events. You evaluate your interlocutors all the time, and they, in turn, evaluate you - therefore, three-quarters of success depends not only on how you look, what and how you say, how you listen, but also how you shake hands. We have prepared a reminder for you about the rules of a business handshake and etiquette.

What does an exemplary business handshake look like?

Before shaking hands, partners take off their hats and bow slightly to each other. The right hand is raised to elbow level. Partners look into each other's eyes. The look expresses satisfaction with the meeting. The handshake is firm and short.

Handshake etiquette: who shakes hands first?

Lady.
Senior in age.
Boss.
Newcomer.

In what order do men and women shake hands?

Lady with lady.
Lady with a man.
Man to man.

You should not shake someone's hand over the joined hands of other people - criss-cross. It's better to wait your turn.

Handshake etiquette: should you stand up?

A man must always stand up. Exceptions are allowed only in two cases: when only close friends are in the company and when the man is old and weak (in this case, when shaking hands with a woman, the man must apologize).

A lady stands up only when she has to shake hands with a man older than herself.

When to take off your glove: handshake rules

You cannot extend a gloved hand to someone who does not have one on their hand. When answering a greeting on the street, a man must take off his glove, regardless of whether the glove is on the outstretched hand. When shaking hands between a man and a woman, the lady's hand may remain gloved.

No one should wear gloves in enclosed spaces. right hand when he's about to say hello. There is no need to hastily remove the glove - you need to do it without fuss.

How to make connections and turn them into money: advice from successful people

Business handshake: what the position of the partner’s hands can indicate

Superiority, desire to dominate. The partner extends his hand, palm down.

Willingness to obey. The partner offers his hand with his palm facing up.

Embarrassment. The partner offers his hand like a boat.

Familiar interest. The partner does not let go of his hand for a long time.

Indifference. Too short, limp handshake, hands very dry.

Friendliness. A slightly longer handshake. Accompanied by a smile and a warm gaze.

Contempt. The partner has a straight, unbent hand when shaking.

Openness. A handshake with both hands is the so-called glove (allowed only in relation to people you know well).

Prepared by the editors

Social society, no matter how multi-layered it may be, cannot be imagined without certain norms of behavior. These rules primarily concern the culture of speech: in order to get along with people, avoid conflicts and confidently move through life, you need to master the important basics of etiquette. Knowing who should say hello first, how to say goodbye and thank you correctly, gives a person great advantages and opportunities.

The meaning of generally accepted rules

The correct greeting is important in all respects; first of all, it is an indicator of a person’s good upbringing and education.

Disregard for others, inattention and rudeness are unacceptable in relationships between people.

Despite the fact that etiquette is essentially a series of conventions, they are extremely important, because by demonstrating your respect, you can receive friendly participation and even help in return. Being polite in any situation is normal for someone who respects his own dignity and values it in others.

The greeting can be different, it has its own nuances depending on the occasion, so there are several options:

friendly;
secular;
business;
non-standard.

Every day life presents many situations, and in any of them a person must behave with dignity. Unlike the previous secular etiquette, the norms of behavior of which were extremely strict, in modern Everyday life There are no clear boundaries of such rules, and some deviations and exceptions are allowed.

Nevertheless, it is important to know and observe them for your own good, because due to antisocial behavior you can easily disrupt normal relationships in any area of your life, making it unbearable.

Rules for greetings in the business community

In their professional activities, people have to communicate a lot, and the environment and the state of their career very often depend on the quality of this communication. Compliance with speech culture is also important for maintaining the image of the enterprise where they work. At the same time, each company has its own established standards behavior and order.

However, no one has canceled the generally accepted rules:

in the office, the first person to say hello should be the one who saw his colleague first, of course, if both of them are in positions of equal position;
if there is a meeting between a boss and a subordinate, the latter, no matter whether it is a man or a woman, is the first to greet his boss;
in cases where a manager enters a room with subordinates, he is obliged to greet everyone first.

At work, the basics of etiquette are just as important as in everyday life, but are carried out taking into account the chain of command and respect for the position. This fact also determines the amendments regarding women - At work, the boss must greet the woman first and stand up. However, there are many worthy managers who do not allow this to happen, and are the first to welcome women under their command, as well as respected older employees.

A handshake in business is always offered by a senior person. During introductions, when the first acquaintance occurs - with a partner or a new employee, the one to whom these people are introduced always shakes out a hand. In this case, everyone participating in the greeting is introduced by name, patronymic and position.

You should not offer your hand across the threshold, above the head of the person sitting next to you; the second hand should not be behind your back or in your pocket - this is bad manners. A handshake involving both hands is also undesirable in the professional field - this is rather suitable for close people and friends.

Welcome to secular society

Nowadays there is no rigid established requirements how to greet each other according to etiquette. Any situation has its own characteristics, and elementary politeness plays an important role in it:

According to general procedures peers in age can greet each other at the same time, while the younger one, according to the rules, is obliged to do this first, and the older one is obliged to initiate the handshake. But in various social circles this situation is often ignored.
Regarding a girl and a guy, the representative of the stronger sex should be the first to greet, but the woman can give him her hand to greet him. The exception is when a man is much older than his friend, then it is quite logical that she should show respect.
If two couples meet, the women first greet each other, the men also show respect to them and only then greet each other. If this happened outside in cold weather, it is important to show your affection for your friends by taking off your mittens or gloves. This is a gesture of goodwill that shows the degree of trust and goodwill.

By greeting someone warmly, people have the opportunity to start a conversation, get the necessary information, and exchange news.

Politeness in other cases

A number of other life situations also provide for a friendly attitude between participants in society.

When communicating between a buyer and a seller, there are some peculiarities:

when entering the store premises, you must greet the seller, this is a sign of good manners;
according to the rules, the one who needs help or some kind of service must show respect first, and this is quite natural.

But this is only one side of the issue - for ethical and sometimes mercantile reasons, the first to greet you are the sellers, who offer their services and assistance in choosing.

Teachers whose professional activities involve public speaking always greet their audience first, be it a small class or Big hall with students. The specifics of the work often lead to some changes in the codes of etiquette. Those same students who meet their teacher on the street should be the first to express their kind attitude towards him.

There are other rules:

As for drivers: when sitting in a car, they should be the first to greet a person passing by;
walking past a standing friend is the first to show his respect;
Those who are late for a meeting are also obliged to greet their friends first, and at the same time apologize.

Regarding neighbors, even those who are not well acquainted, you should always greet them first, because these are people who live nearby, and therefore form part of our life.

How to behave when visiting?

A visit to friends is usually associated with new meetings and acquaintances, and sometimes a person has to communicate with people of different genders and ages. This is what the rules of behavior when visiting are based on.

When entering the house, you must pay your respects to the hostess., only then can you greet the rest of those present, first of all the ladies. The greeting can be common to everyone - in the form of a slight bow or nod of the head. If you smile at the same time, this will be quite enough to create an atmosphere conducive to positive communication.

If two friends meet in a company, then one is obliged to introduce the other to those with whom he wishes to make an acquaintance. But to do this, you should first apologize to those around you, and only after that greet your friend and exchange two or three words with him.

Those present, especially those who do not know each other well, find it unpleasant when they do not participate in the general conversation. To prevent guests from feeling abandoned, everyone should be given at least a little attention, but this is mainly the prerogative of the hostess.

When exchanging handshakes, it is correct to shake hands with all representatives of the stronger half - it is unacceptable to show such favor only to your friends and acquaintances, for others it may look offensive.

There's one more thing important rule– if a guest comes to one of the household members, the whole family should meet him. Saying goodbye to a departing friend should also take place in the presence of all family members.

How to say hello correctly?

A greeting addressed to a person is not only words; at this moment everything is important in relation to the greeting person.